Shaun And Lea: Made for each other

Part 1: A new beginning

Prologue

He was standing a few meters in front of me, in one piece, giving his full medical attention to the person who had just saved his life. I had been watching him for a few minutes, with the same fascination as always.
His eyes were looking around, tired. His beauty opposed and won the battle against the last remnants of a tragedy.
When he turned toward me, I sucked in as much air as my lungs could hold.
All the fear and doubt had dissipated hours ago and left a courage barely contained within me.
The moment my eyes met those familiar blue eyes my heart soared, courage threatened to rush out and propel me forward. I put a rush in my steps, I almost ran. I had the urgency to say all the suffocated things, the things I had oppressed for months.
I longed to see that face up close.

One, two kisses were not enough to make up for all the time I had been without him. But I wished they had the exact measure of my feelings.
To my relief, after I kissed him and declared all my love, I noticed the express joy in his eyes as he listened attentively, in his relief at remembering that he had not failed on a promise, and in the way he touched my lips.
Nothing was lost. It was a new beginning.
We started again with another unforgettable kiss.

This time it wasn't me who took the action of wrapping my arms around Shaun, he gently touched my back, pushing me to embrace his neck, the softness and firmness of that touch made me waver for a few seconds, I lost my balance and consciousness, I recovered the next second when I realized that I was safe there in his arms, they formed a fortress around me.
And for the first time I felt that embrace completely.
I wanted to live in it, I threw myself into it, enjoying every sensation of that moment.

>>>

San Jose, 2019
Hours before the earthquake

__ Excuse me, may I come in?

Claire was posted at the door, with her usual gentle smile.

__ Sure!

She sat in the chair opposite my desk, hesitated for a second, and said

__ I wanted to talk to you about Shaun.
Claire, I paused.
__ Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to be being too intrusive in the matters of you two.
__What I mean is, he's in a bad way. He didn't come to work for three days last week. I went to his house and believe me, I never thought I would see him in that state. Totally depressed and unmotivated. I convinced him to come to the hospital, but then I concluded that it would have been better for him to stay at home for a few more days. He got stressed, took it out on the patients, on me, and even on Melendez. Who, by the way, must have given him an ultimatum. It is hard to identify any trace of Shaun's feelings, so imagining the fact that he is indifferent to work means that there is something going on with him. I imagine that he is trying to cope with everything, but I know that he is not well.

I felt anguish as I thought about how much he was suffering.

__He showed up at my building. Angry, with a baseball bat in his hand, he tried to break my car, he didn't have the guts. He threw in my face how selfish, shallow and prejudiced I am.
Claire's eyes widened in amazement.
I smiled and continued.
__Yeah, I was surprised too. But I have no right to judge him, I offended him before that. Now he thinks I have an aversion to his autism.
The result of all these confrontations of ours is that I am sure how harmful I can be to him.
__Is Shaun's autism a major impediment to you?
__Claire, you are a good friend of Shaun's. He must have told you what I said the first time we talked.
__Yes, he did.
__I love him, it's true.
__I don't doubt it.
__It's just too complicated. A relationship between me and Shaun involves many things. I'm afraid that all my ways, my fears and shadows of experience will contribute to my ending up hurting him, again. I don't know if I am ready to take on a relationship with a person, especially since Shaun is an extremely sensitive man.
He deserves someone who understands him, who can give him a good time, who he can trust and who makes him feel confident.
I don't think I'm the ideal person for him, I'm far from it.
Claire's expression changed to one of slight concern.
__I know you've talked it over, and I understand your motives. I must just say that often what we believe we are is not always what we really are.
I remember that two years ago Shaun hated to talk about love, in fact, he didn't understand why people needed someone to love. It was funny how the idea of dependence on the presence of another caused him to refuse.
Then one day Shaun started talking about the neighbor who knocked on the door one night to borrow batteries.
He simply talked about you every day, when you ate his breakfast apple, found him lost in the street after he had passed the bus stop. Half the staff of this hospital knew more about you from hearsay than any patient who had ever been admitted here for a long time. When you returned from that trip, he mentioned that he had been traveling with his girlfriend.
We both laughed. She continued.
__You know, Lea, you saw how he was when you came back from Hershey. Shaun, in his own way, suffered from your departure and despaired at the thought of it happening again. Shaun has loved you for years. And honestly I've never seen someone give of themselves and fight for love the way he proposes for you.
__ But what if I don't live up to his expectations?
__ I don't think he has any expectations about what he expects you to do for him. I believe Shaun's only desire is to be reciprocated and loved back. You love him, that's enough for him.