A collection of short stories

Everywhere at the end of time

I've never really thought about it until now, but now I'm thinking about it, getting Alzheimer's or Dementia is one of the scariest things a human being can experience. We are our memories, and the only reason we are existing is because we remember things. I'm not necessarily scared of death itself as I am scared of how I die. I don't care if I'm shot, hanged, or stabbed. I just don't want to die not even knowing if I've lived at all. I can't bare the thought of experiencing decay and utter loss of what anything is. I don't want to leave this world not even knowing my own name. I don't want to die without even knowing how to scream. Ever since I was young I knew there was something terribly wrong with how we keep pushing old people to live and live and live when clearly so many of them are suffering out of their mind. In 5th grade I shared this opinion and the teacher asked me, "So you would be okay with letting your dad go if he was kept alive by a machine in the hospital?" and I confidently said yes. I really feel that, yes it's a miracle how long humans are able to live, but not at the expense of the sheer joy and will-power of being alive. There's no doubt why those who experience this become suicidal. And I don't think that's wrong, because biologically we were never made to live this long. Even IF the advancements of science and medicine allow us to live longer, is it really worth it for all of us? This is why I'm a huge proponent of euthanasia, because you really cannot weigh the depth of one's suffering or ever experience it for yourself. And those who decide against it are usually unwilling to be empathetic to it. If you get a chance to check out the videos on my channel, you'd see I come from a spiritual and Hindu background. I believe we really should not be afraid of death, but in order to do that we cannot be thinking about it constantly either. The condition is a perpetual and slow dismissal of your right to happiness and your right to let go when you know there is no longer any joy left for your consciousness to experience in this body. Why is euthanasia still so taboo? I wish people would wake up to the source of everything and how we should not be trying to fight it. Please let people go. Let them go where they need to, and allow their consciousness to evolve to the next stage. Holding on to them is so selfish when they're only experiencing constant pain. Imagine, walking through a hallway filled with various photos, paintings, and art pieces, to get to another door on the other side. You go through that door to get to what seems like the same hallway, but with small distortions and other minor changes on the art pieces. You walk down that hallway, and go through another door on the other side, where the objects get even more distorted, hallway after hallway, door after door, until the art pieces seem familiar, but are so twisted and foreign that you can't recognize them. You feel compelled to keep walking, door after door, hallway after hallway, as the objects become more and more unrecognizable, until you walk through a door and the hallway gets slightly darker. Hallway after hallway, door after door, until the hallway is pitch black. And then you collapse onto the floor, can't get back up, and can't keep your eyes open. That's Dementia in a nutshell. I'm so afraid I'm going to open my eyes one day and find myself old and decrepit, suddenly aware that I've been deceiving myself into believing I'm young again for one last time before I lose everything and go gentle into that good night.