|Don't wanna admit • stray kids • B.C ff |

0.2

  "May I come in sir?" I went to my class after fixing my appearance. There were a few cuts scattered on my face, but most of them were on my stomach region and legs. So, the teacher wouldn't know about the fight.

  "Yejun, you are 20 mins late! How come you.... nevermind, detention till 3 today. Now, go and sit." The teacher scolded. On my way to the seat, i heard some laughs from my classmates.

  I was actually happy that I had gotten detention. I mean, I would do anything to stay away from that cursed house and mad father of mine. Sometimes, I felt like running away. But where would i go? And then what? I don't earn enough to be able to buy an appartment AND attend school too. Living on the roads isn't my forte. And anyways, i'm living on borrowed time. I don't have anyone or anything to live for. I know i'd be gone soon.

  Suddenly a shiver ran down my spine. I don't know why, from today morning i've been feeling like someone keeps an eye on me, like every move i make, every muscle i shift is being observed.

  Unconsciously, my body tenses. I turn around in search of that burning gaze for the nth time, but only to sigh in defeat.

  "Eyes on the board class!" The teacher shouted.

♡__________________________________♡

*detention*

  I had my head resting on the desk during detention, trying hard to sleep.
Keyword:TRYING

  Again, i felt the same stare on me. The hair on my neck was standing on tip, body covered in goosebumps. Somehow, i really wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself in it. At least, i would be able to escape from this hellish life of mine.

  There were 5 more students alongside me. Desperate to distract myself from this creepy feeling, i started observing the students. Most of them were failing classes badly, few were late comers like me. I scanned all of them as my eyes landed on one particular student.

  It was the new boy, the one with blonde hair. What was his name again? Ban... Ban....Banchan! (Note:Side dish is called banchan in korean). I mentally hit myself. How could i think that someone would be named side dish. I'm going mad. But again, was his name Bang... Bang...tan? Wait, what the hell, why did i think of bts all of a sudden. Sheesh girl, your inner army is showing. (A/N:I'm sorry, i can never control my army ass😭)

  I brought back my focus for the 5th time, still failing to remember his name. God sometimes i feel like i have the memory of a gold fish.
(Fact- gold fishes have a memory of 2 seconds. Means they forget everything that happened 2 seconds ago)

  How hard is it for me to remember something from this morning? Ugh! Why do i forget things so easily?

  'Did you forget or were you too busy drooling over his features to pay attention?'
Did i mention that i absolutely hated my conscience.

  Frowning, i glanced back at the boy, and for a moment i thought our gazes met, but within a blink of an eye, he was back to glaring holes into his desk. I must've imagined it.

♡__________________________________♡

*time skip*

  I silently closed the door of my house, making as little sound as possible, stealthily tiptoeing to my room.

*crash*

  Startled out of my skin, i looked around to check if i had thrown something absent mindedly.

"Trying to go somewhere?"

  Shit! I got caught! I turned around, my head bowed down. Over the years, i had learned it the hard way that i must be timid infront of father, if i don't want to die that is.

The rules- Always keep your head low, never talk back, keep your hands locked infront of you, NEVER CRY.

  "You know, the last time i had warned you for entering late, i had thought you learnt your lesson. But, here we are again. Got anything to say?"
....Silence....

  "I said SPEAK!"

*slap*
"I-i was at s-school."
"LIAR!"
*slap*

  I was still looking down, biting my lips to the point they drew blood. Suddenly i heard some metallic sounds. When i slightly glanced up to see, i wished i hadn't.

*slash* i *slash* thought *slash* i *slash* told *slash* you *slash* to *slash* never *slash* lie *slash* to *slash* me!

  At this point, my back was full of cuts, my top was all bloody and torn from behind, my body jerking up with every hit of his leather belt.

  "Yejun, you are so worthless, disgusting filthy little brat! I wasn't going to use the belt on you, you know. But now that you came late AND hid money from me, you need to get punished!"

  The hits stopped for a moment. He grabbed my hair, lifting me up slightly from the ground.

  "I bet you entered late because you were busy wh*rring around with some guy. That's how you get all this money, am i right you f*cking piece of crap?"

  Then, the beatings continued for what felt like an hour, before he left to the bar with all my savings.

  I felt numb, numb to all my emotions. No matter how much my body hurt, i never shed a single tear. I had stopped doing that a long time ago. My tears were worthless anyways. My life was worthless anyways. I would've given up a long time ago, but my mom's last words kept echoing through my mind

*flashback*
  "Mommy, why are you leaving us?" A 5 year old yejun sobbed, diamond tears dropping down her rosy cheeks.
"Darling, as i told you before, every person has its purpose in this world and once it is done, god calls them back to the beautiful heaven. My purpose here is now fulfilled,  so i must leave. But, promise me love, always stay strong and be kind, no matter what happens. You never know who needs your help. You'll do that for me, right honey?"
  "Yes mommy, i promise."

*back to present*

  A stray tear ran down my face as a small smile played on my lips. I am sure my purpose isn't fulfilled yet, thus, i must not give up now. I promised i'll be strong, so that's what i'll do, no matter how dreadful my life is.

  With that, i fainted back into the endless sea of sweet memories i made with my dear mom.

♡__________________________________♡

Big chapter, eh?