|Don't wanna admit • stray kids • B.C ff |

0.3

I woke up with an unbearable pain surging all over my body. I was confused for a moment or two, but then, the memories from the hour before came back to my mind.

Groaning, I tried standing up, but to no avail. After being successful in a few attempts, I checked the time. Shit! I was running late for my shift at the grocery store. Moving as quickly as possible, I hastily entered the bathroom.

I peeled my top from my body, slightly hissing at the stinging pain from my back. Next, I proceeded to disinfect the wounds. It did hurt like hell, but I was accustomed to it by now. After mourning for my ruined top for a few minutes, I left for the store.

The store was 3 blocks away from my house, so I usually would walk. But today I was unconventionally slow due to the beating session from the hour before.

On my way, something, more like someone caught my attention. It was the new kid, standing under the streetlight. The light bounced off of his golden hair and fair skin, giving him a fairy-like glow. He was simply breathtaking. He hadn't yet noticed my presence, so I took that chance to gawk... correction: observe him some more.

(•Reference)

He was busy staring at the road, deep in thoughts. Suddenly, our eyes met. My mind really wanted to walk away right at that moment, but somehow, I just couldn't seem to look away. It was like I was hypnotized, like a fly is attracted towards light. I had heard that deers stop dead whenever they look into a car's headlights. Is this how they felt? Frozen to the mysterious beauty of its enigmatic being.

His eyes, they seemed so void of life, like he had no soul left in his body. All there was left was an endless abyss, which I wanted to dive into. For a moment, I wondered, if these spiritless eyes of his were so mesmerizing, then how beautiful would they actually be when they would be vivacious. Suddenly, I felt the urge to become the one to bring back that life to his eyes, to return his soul back to his body.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally looked away, continuing my journey towards the store while silently cursing for wasting so much time, burrying this incident and my eerie thoughts at the back of my mind.

Finally reaching the store, I rushed behind the counter.

"YEJUN!!" My boss screamed.
"Why are you late?"
"Mr.Jung, you see, I fell on my way here and sprained my ankle, so I had trouble walking.
"And why is your face all bruised up? Hit that too?"
"Umm, yes sir."
"Hmm, okay. But remember yejun, you have been bringing a lot of loss. One more mistake and I'll have to fire you."
"Yes sir. It won't happen again."
"Hmm."
♡__________________________________♡

*time skip*

I was busy arranging the milk cartons on one of the shelves, when someone approached me. I looked back, but regretted immediately. There stood Minhee, clad in an all pink outfit, smelling like she dipped herself in gallons of perfume.

"Hey rat! Was it fun getting beaten by my boyfriend?" She said, snickering. "Yes it was. Now, if you have no other work then leave me alone." I sighed. "Oh! Who said I don't have any work? Making your life hell is my work, and that's exactly what I'm going to do right now!"

She smirked one last time and fell backwards, crashing straight into rows of eggs, most of them falling and breaking in the process.

"Why did you do that?" I screamed.
And with that, she started calling the manager.

"Manager, what type of employees do you have here? I just asked her to direct me to the row containing snacks. I don't know why she got so irritated by that, but she pushed me back. Look at all the mess she made, my expensive outfit is all ruined. Now, you must pay for it!"

My eyes widened with every lie that came out of her mouth. But I could not do anything about it because I was too shocked to explain myself. Soon, my dumbstruck self was pushed out of the shop with the manager apologizing to that piece of shit in the background.

I just turned around, walking back to my house. But then, I noticed him. Those beautiful eyes of his full of sympathy, pity. He saw everything, I realised. Anger and embarrassment filled me up to the brim and I stomped away to god knows where.

I went where my feet took me, soon ending up in what looked like an abandoned park. I made my way towards the rusty swing which creaked under my weight as I sat on it. I was happy that I could finally be alone. But maybe I spoke too soon.

Again, I spotted his existence, peacefully laying on the slide, stargazing. This creeped me out tremendously. He seems to be with me everywhere I went, every step I took, as if he was my shadow. Was he following me? Was he my stalker? Shivering at the thought, I quickly stood up, wanting to go back home, only to notice that he was now making his way towards me. My mind decided against my heart, which wanted to stay and talk to him, and I ran away from that place.

   I reached back home, panting from the run; and soon my situation started to sink into my head.

   I had got fired, leaving me no source of income. My father had taken away all my savings and I'm sure he would have spent all of it on alcohol by now. I was broke and my school fee was due in two weeks. Even if I did find a new job, I would never be able to earn enough money in such short period. How will I pay for it?

*trigger warming: contains mentions of self harm. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!*

   Tired of my life, I sat on the floor of my room, back resting on a wall. Throughout my life. Throughout my life, i had experienced different types of pain - burns, cuts, migraines, bruises, fractures - an endless list. But I only ever liked the pain that I gave to myself.

    Taking out a new packet of blades from my bedside drawer, I sank one into my skin, creating several slits. Blood gushed out of all of them and i was loving the sting of it. I smiled. In the end, it was always me, my depression, my blades and the darkness again.

♡__________________________________♡

1102 words, huh?
Hey readers! If you like this ff, pls let me know in the comments. Not many people read it and if anyone other than my family or friends (for eg: simran) do like it, pls let me know. It will help me stay motivated💜💜

Umm, well if anyone has a doubt, no y/n ain't dead. She hasn't suicided, she just cut herself.
Byeeeeeeeee loves♡