[MESSENGER]
Colin Isaac Tongco
10:44pm
Lopex
Damarsi
Damairx
Fiore, pleass kets meet.
Tongco, alas 10 na. May kailangan ka? I thought okay na 'yung mga sinabi ko kaninang lunch para sa AA natin.
Nasa labas ako ng aoartment niyp
What's with your typing?
Kailangan ko pa atang i decode.
Nasa kabas ako, punta ks dito.
Lasing ka ba?
I don't drink, Lopex. Just comr here
Your typing says it, Tongco.
Fine, I'll be there in a minute.
-
ARIS POINT OF VIEW
Lumabas ako sa gate ng apartment kung saan kami nakatira ng mga pinsan ko. Nakita ko ang sasakyan niya sa labas at mukhang nandoon lamang siya sa loob, nanghihintay. Kumatok ako sa bintana nang kan'yang sasakyan, tsaka ko binuksan ang pinto at pumasok.
Nakahawak ang kanyang kamay sa steering wheel ng sasakyan at nakasandal ang ulo niya roon.
"I'm here, Tongco," I said.
Ginalaw niya ang kan'yang ulo at lumingon sa 'kin. His eyes were puff. Did he cry?
Hindi ako nakagalaw dahil sa biglaang pagyakap niya sa 'kin. I felt my heart so heavy while witnessing his state right now. He rested his head on my shoulder, and he sobbed.
I didn't say anything. I let him cry on my shoulders, and I don't have any words to say. I'm too speechless. He left me speechless in our situation. Knowing that he cried and went here to my place, it must be something serious.
"A-aris . . . ang sakit . . ." Bulong niya habang nakasandal pa rin ang ulo niya sa balikat ko. "Bakit kailangan ko pang maranasan 'to? Iniwan na niya ako . . . ngunit bakit bumalik pa siya rito? Para saan pa, Aris? Ako ba talaga ang binalikan niya o iba?"
I was stunned at his questions.
Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya. He must be too hurt by the fact that he cried for that girl.
Masyado niyang sigurong mahal ang babae. Napangiti ako sa aking isipan, sana ay makahanap din ako ng katulad niya.
Hinayaan ko siyang umiyak sa balikat ko. Tanging mga hikbi lang niya ang maririnig sa loob ng kan'yang sasakyan.
"Sarili mo naman Colin, sarili mo naman bago ang iba . . ." Bulong ko.
It's ironic, isn't it? I was able to tell those words to him, but I can't apply them to myself.
Ako naman, ako naman muna . . . sarili ko muna.
I am worried about what people might see about me-that I can't even fight for what I want. I can't even complain; every time I want to say something, my words will always remain at the edge of my tongue.
"Naiwan sa kanyaang sarili ko . . . paano?" Tanong niya.
"Build yourself again, and this time without her. If that's the only way for you to move forward, because, Tongco, you cannot move forward if you can't free yourself from the past that kept on chaining you." Kusang gumalaw ang mga kamay ko at niyakap ko rin siya. "We are all stuck into something that is stopping us from moving forward. Free them, so you can start again."
Napagtanto ko ang mga sinabi ko sa kanya. We are all stuck in the past. Tayo lang din ang makakatulong sa mga sarili natin. Maybe . . . maybe I need to let them free too. Siguro susubukan ko rin.
"Can you promised me one thing, Tongco?" I asked him. Tinanggal niya ang pagkakayakap sa'kin at tinignan ako. "Can you promise me that you'll build yourself again? Even without her, as I do. Free from your past, as I will free myself too." Ang nakaraan ang kalaban niya, habang ako . . . sarili ko mismo.
I realized that Colin and I are somewhat the same. We can't move forward because we are letting the past cage us.
Sana tama ang desisyon ko, nakakapagod din pala na lagi nalang akong nasa pagitan ng kasiyahan at kalungkutan. I want to be free too. Gusto ko rin na umalpas.
"Starting tomorrow, we will build and free ourselves again." I patted his shoulder. "I'll go first; it's almost 12. Magpahinga ka na." Ngumiti ako sa kanyaat bubuksan ko na sana ang pintuan ng sasakyan niya pero pinigilan niya ako.
"Thank you, Lopez. Ikaw pa talaga ang inabala ko," wika niya.
"Kailanman ay hindi ka naging abala sa'kin, Tongco," sagot ko sa kanya. "Mauna na ako."
Tuluyan ko ng binuksan ang pintuan ng sasakyan niya. Hinawakan ko ang puso ko. It's beating fastly. Ngumiti ako habang nakatingin sa buwan at mga tala sa kalangitan.
I will try, I will risk.
Because, without a doubt—Colin Isaac Tongco is someone who's worth risking.
//
BINABASA MO ANG
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