Chapter 30. Broken Lead of My Pencil

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It's her birthday

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It's her birthday.

Who is she to me?
Noone.

I don't know what I should call her... First love? Ex? Technically both...

Well.. nothing matter now. I don't want to give her any position in my life...

Huh... I smirk I don't know why. My chest feels a little heavy.

*Deep breath*

*Put the phone in pocket*

I am not at all ok to tell you this...
I feel like a fool. I lost the precious feeling of falling in love. I don't love her....
Also
I don't feel I can love anyone - anymore.

I don't believe in romance. I am scared of it.

She took away the feeling...

I was just a momentary replacement for her boyfriend. They are now together. Only in the middle, she dragged me into her life to ruin me. What did she say at the end? A sorry.

A sorry for ruining the place of the first love...my foolishness...my desires... That tension... that feeling of first love... that pain....

.

She was Shijie's classmate. She is a little elder than me. She doesn't look pretty, but she has a sweet voice... a beautiful smile, tender attitude.

Her eyes are dreamy.

We had a little chat sometimes. She introduced her boyfriend to me. The guy wasn't bad. The things could be like this -

But fights between loves are probably very natural.

One night she pours all her tears over me on the chat... saying how heartbroken she was...she was having a fight with her boyfriend.

I felt bad...for no reason, my heart tumbled.

What is that?

I should not have known. I should not have cared...if she didn't do that.

She suddenly proposed to me.

I still remember the time, I remember I said that she is elder than me. She said that doesn't matter...

I thought it's a lie, as she was drinking at that time.

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