Lonesome Queen

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(side note- this is probably the most serious and accurate poem i've ever posted on here. this is literally how i feel all the time, the others were just sort of a spur of momentary sadness. if you read previous works, i seem really, like, emo. i'm not, this is how i am.)
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she's laughing a pure, hearty laugh
with her friends at lunch, and they say:
"i hope you know how much we want you here."
and she did.

she gets home, and her best friend
texts her and says: "you're the greatest!
dude, i hope you believe me."
and she did.

her mother hugs her, and
she turns to her saying "just
know you are capable of anything."
and she did.

over the weekend, her friends
all go out without her, but she was at
her dad's, what could she do? "i hope you
know we're sorry," they say.
and she did.

her best friend gets busy with sports
and doesn't answer her texts, but practice
was manditory, what could she do? "dude,
sorry, but i'm always busy, you know that."
and she did.

her mother snaps at her for not cleaning,
but she was supposed to, so what could she
do? "but don't you know that this is what
you're expected to do?"
and she did.

monday at school, she doesn't speak
at lunch, not a word, and hardly anyone
really noticed. she thought, 'i can't be mad,
they're just excited and busy, i know that.'
and she did.

her best friend finally came over and confessed
to smoking weed over the weekend. 'i know she
had peer pressure, and she wasn't harmed,
i'll just be her friend no matter what.'
and she did.

her mother screamed at her for a
reason she didn't even know. 'she
has a reason, so i should just apoligize
and start taking some responsibility.'
and she did.

she texts her friends, and tries to
tell them that she feels the way she does.
"you're making a big deal, and you're
trying to make us feel bad, just stop."
and she did.

she tries to talk to her best friend,
who says she has sports, but blows her
off for a friend's house. "it's not even a
big deal, quit trying to make it one."
and she did.

her mother is having a meltdown, and
screams, "don't you know how much pain
you are? i am alway on edge because of
you, just go, before i lose my mind."
and she did.

her friends, best friend, and mother
have no idea, no idea, because she
gets told to hide everything, stop
making a big deal, just quit it.
so she did.

-c

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