Yeji didn't want to. She had never wanted to like y/n but she just couldn't understand how she likes her or even loves her . Maybe it was the way her hair flutters so freely or maybe it was the way she smiled at her .
But she believed that maybe it was the way y/n acts , speaks and the way she cares for her . Her personality made her fall even harder once she got to know her .
She was very fond of her personality , it somehow reminded her of her mother , someone that looked mean on the outside but was honestly a big softie with a warm heart for the people she loved and cared for . She aspired to find someone that has that characteristics and at last she had found her .
Truth to be told , she had never expected it to be her . She simply knew her from school . They only talked when needed to and most of the times , it was only for a few minutes . But Yeji was falling head over heels for her .
She saw every single details of y/n and it made her heart stopped . It made her feel like she had just won the lottery, like she was the one that could satisfy her every wants and needs , like if she were to be falling off a building , y/n could catch her .
But Yeji , just like what Ryujin had said before , is a coward .
Butterflies flutters in her stomach every time y/n is in the same room as her . Her heart would race when she makes the slightest eye contact, only to look away in a split second , afraid that she would fall even deeper in love with her .
And that was when she started to avoid her like the plague . Every time y/n would enter a room , she would leave . Every time y/n went to speak with her and Ryujin , she would make up an excuse to leave the conversation straight away .
Ryujin had tried talking to her about it , she had even encouraged her to confess to y/n or to just get to y/n a little more but Yeji just couldn't do it .
When she and Ryujin got invited to go see a movie by Ryujin's best friend , Lia , she realized she had to stop liking her . She had to stop because she could tell by the way they smiled at each other , the way they joked with each other about the movie and the way they spoke to each other . Even a blind person could see that the two girls liked each other . Ryujin too saw it . She too saw the emotions on Yeji's expressionless face .
On her way home after the movie , Yeji swore that she was going to stop liking y/n and to try and let go of her feelings for y/n , even if it meant that she had to used brute force .
*************************
"how do you stop liking someone , unnie ?" her voice sounded pathetic , Yeji has to admit.
" You can't . " Nayeon took a sip of her drink before continuing , " your feelings can't be stopped with just a snap of a finger you know ? , the more you try to suppress it , the more it'll grow . "
Yeji felt it , definitely.
She felt the seed that was planted in her heart started to slowly sprouted and bloomed . What Yeji thought was admiration during her freshman year had been confirmed to be the feeling of love and attraction when she went into her senior year .
" Y/N again ? " Nayeon brings her cup to her lips to sip , letting a soft sigh when Yeji gave her a soft nod .
Yeji's eyes no longer held the joy she once had .
" Yeah , i just think that we're too different . She's brave , I'm not . She's outspoken, I'm not that either. " Yeji tried to find reasons to stop likng y/n and Nayeon could see it too .
" You know, the reason why you have that sense of attachment would probably be because she has that good image. I mean just like what you said, she's the brave one, the outspoken one . Unless that image is broken, it's hard to stop liking someone." Yeji felt like she was in a couple's counselling session, just that she was the only person and that she's single.
"let your emotions go, chaeryeong. it's harder if you fight it." Nayeon simply states when she sees Yeji in a deep state of thought, probably stressing about how to stop liking y/n .
With a small bite of her sandwich , she decides that she should probably try and find something that she hates about y/n, even though she knew that she would probably fall for her harder that way.
*************************
And Yeji was right. she did fall for her harder. throughout all her flaws, she fell for her even more.
Yeji wanted to cursed those who said that love was a choice . It obviously wasn't for her . Heaven's playing a sick joke on her , Yeji thinks . What had she done to deserve this ?
It was painful to like someone that she thought was close to perfection, but it was even more painful to know that even though her myth was busted, she still couldn't get over y/n .
Was it fate that allowed this ? or Was it the fact that maybe she was just constantly swooning over her smile or the way she laughed ?or maybe it was just heaven's way of torturing her for no particular reason.
retreating to her bed, she closes her eyes with only one thought in mind ,
" i'll get over her someday, just not now . "
