Depression Diary

Mistaken

It happened again.

I got the same feeling of being mistaken.

Mistaken for another that should've been born instead of me.

Regretting that it was me that came into this word rather then someone else.

Someone else that could've, and mostly would've made my parents smile bigger when they think of their only child.

But as fate has it's ways, I came instead.

And I feel like a mistake.

One that could only be undone if I was never born, because then no one would have to experience a burden as myself.

I've always felt like this ever since I was child.

These thoughts would always make their way towards the front of my brain when I felt like I wasn't good enough.

Although my mother disagrees when I told her at the age of five, I felt that she was lying.

Lying to me so that I wouldn't try and attempt anything dangerous...

But what she doesn't realize is that I've had those types of thoughts before, just never really to end life because then I wouldn't see whether or not these thoughts disappear or grow within time.

And using time I'll find other oceans of sadness where I'll occasionally drown deep within those thoughts, but will always resurface to see what will happen next in life.

Until next time my Depression Diary,

-Gigi