a collection of loneliness

Watcher

I didn't even know his name but I knew, he was my boy. He was pretty like the sky on a summer evening. He was wild and untamable like the wind on an autumn day. He was dark and powerful like the clouds on a winter night. But he was astonishing and he seemed to be shining all the time like white sand when the sun shines on it. He was my boy. I could see him sitting at the kitchen counter, his black and fuzzy curly hair all over the place. He was unreachable, truly untouchable for me. If I tried to do so my hand would just slide through his body. I wasn't visible to him. Because I was a ghost, damned to finish the last thing for me to do before being able to vanish to whatever comes afterlife. But I couldn't figure out what it was that I had to do. The only thing I knew is that it could wait because time spend close to this boy was time well spent.

I died a few weeks after I met him the first time. Or better saw him for the first time because I don't even think he knew I was there. He was walking down the street while I sat at the window in my favorite coffee shop. He caught my eye the second I saw him. I could feel the power inside of him like electricity that lets your hair stand. I remember that I ran outside, trying to follow him. I realized pretty soon that I looked like a fool if not like an absolute creep. So, I hid in corners, shadows, eager not to be seen. I didn't dare to talk to him. Something kept me from doing so, something deep inside of me that pulled the reins. It felt like I wasn't supposed to meet him yet. It felt like fate had made a mistake and was trying to keep me from making a big deal out of it.

But for days and days, I couldn't set my mind off him.

Just about three weeks later I was run over by a car. I saw my family crying and my funeral but it didn't touch me. All that I could think of was the boy and how I could find him again. And I did. It took me about 4 days of waiting and searching. I waited near that coffee shop, looking out for him to maybe walk by again. I followed a few people home that looked at least a bit like him and could be his parents or siblings. But luckily, as if fate was trying to excuse itself for the mistake, the boy walked by soon. I wouldn't let my eyes off him. Even if I wanted I couldn't stop. I was somehow meant to be close to him.

Kaiden didn't believe in fate. He believed in his piano at home and in music. He believed in himself. It was a dark and cloudy afternoon when Kaiden walked down Firroad. He was eager to get home soon since he was hungry and excited to play that new piece he discovered. His mind was wandering to all the notes on that paper and he tried to guess how long it would take him to learn that piece by heart. Kaiden was just on his way home from the supermarket. He had bought some empty sheet music. A melody was plaguing his head for days now and he would try for the first time to write it down. Until now he had only tried to play these melodies more or less successfully. Even if he managed to play what was on his mind he tended to forget at least a few days later.