BETWEEN REVENGE AND LOVE

26

Monday, 30/09/1995

I can hear the faint roar of the crowd even from this far of a distance. Late, again.

I hurry down the gravely path to the Quidditch Pitch, cold drizzle hitting my face.

"Penelope!" a sharp voice sounds from behind me, and I groan inwardly as I realise who it is.

Pansy's coming after me, her lips twisting in annoyance. Eyes narrowing, she flicks a strand of perfectly coiffed dark hair over her shoulder, looking me up and down.

"Not today, Pansy," I mutter, not in the mood for a confrontation at all.

"Honestly, you could at least pretend to care about what I have to say," Pansy spits, her tone sharp. "But I suppose that's asking too much, as usual."

I clench my jaw, remaining silent and quickening my pace toward the pitch. But she keeps up with me nonetheless.

"Why are you always like this," Pansy adds, her voice biting as we walk. "Insufferable, good for nothing. It's just like back home. No wonder Mother's so sick all the time, with you moping around the house when you're there, making everyone around you suffer.."

Abruptly, I stop, turning to face my sister, heart racing with a mix of anger and hurt. "What do you want from me, Pansy?"

She folds her arms across her chest, her eyes cold. "You know exactly what I want. You need to finally realise that nobody loves you. Not Astoria. Not even your own family. Because all you ever do is lock yourself in your room. Always gloomy, always distant. You couldn't be bothered to care about what's happening around you. You leave everything to other people."

Involuntarily, my hands tighten into fists at my sides. "You don't know what I'm going through, Pansy. Leave Astorias name out of your filthy mouth."

It hurts, saying it out loud. Her name.

"Oh, please," Pansy scoffs. "Poor, tortured Penelope, always the victim. You think you're the only one who's had to deal with things? While you were busy wallowing in your own misery, I was the one taking care of our mother. I had to watch her get worse while you just... disappeared."

"I was struggling too, Pansy!" My voice rises, raw emotions boiling to the surface. "I wasn't just being gloomy - I was trying to keep myself together. It wasn't easy for me either. And it's all your fault, can't you remember?"

"I'm glad I kissed Astoria." Pansy starts again, her eyes flashing. "Not that she means something to me, but you didn't deserve her and I'm glad you don't get to have her anymore. You don't deserve to be loved, you selfish slut."

Her words sting like a slap to the face. My mouth opens, probably for some words to defend myself, but nothing comes out of it. I stay silent, throat tightening.

"You don't care about us, we don't care about you." Pansy smiles, her tone dripping with bitterness. "I'm old enough to take care of everything on my own. You don't need to pretend like you're part of this family anymore."

Suddenly, my legs stop working. I now stand still under the rain.

"Got the message? We don't need you. We want you to stay gone."

"You don't get to decide that, Pansy. I'm still her daughter too."

"Are you?" Pansy shot back. "When was the last time you talked to her? Hell, when was the last time you even wasted a thought on her?"

The silence that follows is thick with the unspoken resentment and hurt that built up between us over the years. I stare at my sister, my chest tight with a mixture of emotions I can't fully untangle.

Finally, without another word, I find the strength to continue walking toward the Quidditch pitch, my steps heavy.

The sounds of the game grow even louder as I approach, but the excitement of the match feels far away, drowned out by the echo of Pansy's words in my mind.