Your Scent [JeonChan]

13

Well here we are again

I really need to get to the epilogue of this I need to write it I'm lazy tho

Alexa play Tatto by Alexa

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Jeongin blinked at the first light of the morning and as soon as he began to feel his body he realized he was more tired than he had ever felt in his life.

It was like getting up just to go and close the curtains used too much energy that he did not have, and he decided to try and fall back down the rabbit whole of sleep.

That was when he noticed the arm around him, and, one by one, once again, memories of the day before came back to his mind, and his heart managed to, in the middle of all that emotionless time, beat fast again.

He closed his eyes fiercely, burying his face in his hands and almost groaning into them, but Chan was faster, still not fully awake, cupping his hands and pulling his chin up to face him.

"Don't you even think about that."

Jeongin let out a breathy whimper, moving his head to bury it on Chan's neck instead, which made the older chuckle a bit.

Their bodies melted together, their hands intertwined and their hearts acted as one, beating at the same rhythm and Jeongin could not ask for more.

For a split second, right before he fell asleep again in the leader's arms, he felt a hint of what he had once recognized as happiness.

Faint.

But there.

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He knew he could not escape the older as Changbin got him to their bedroom, a bit later, pulling him apart from the group and closing the door behind them, so he didn't try.

Changbin bit his lip at the sigh.

He could see the younger was tired like he had never been, and even though he knew it would be easier than usual to make him talk, he felt guilty about doing that to him.

"Innie, sweetie, I know you don't want to talk about it but-"

"I don't.", he sniffed, hands playing on his lap.

Changbin sighed, sitting next to him on his bed and turning to him, even if the latter didn't look back.

"And why don't you?"

The younger furrowed his eyebrows, still staring at the floor.

"W-what?"

Changbin took his hand, squeezing it enough to get his attention.

"Why do you keep invalidating your feelings?"

That hit Jeongin like a truck.

"I-I do not-"

"But you do, Innie. It's okay to have trouble, and yet you act like everything's okay after it happened, it's okay to cry and you clean your face like it's some curse or something.", Jeongin felt tears prickling his eyes already. "It's okay to need help, you know?"

"Not for me. I can't.", his voice broke, and Changbin had to close his eyes so he would not start crying again.

"Why?"

The younger shrugged.

"B-because I have it all, Bin..." a sob filled the air. "I have the perfect group, the perfect life, I'm an idol for God's sake! And you- you can because you are actually in a bad place and have been before but I'm- I have it all and I don't... I'm..."

Changbin pulled him into a tight hug when he realized there was nothing else he could say, his sobs filling the room and probably worrying the members outside, but still no one barged in, and Changbin was thankful for that, as tears fell down his eyes as well.

He pulled the younger to lay down, embracing him even tighter.

"You're valid, Jeongin. What you're feeling, no matter how your life is, is valid, and you can't go on and compare yourself to me.", he gave him a small smile, cleaning a few tears from the younger's face. "True, I have been in a dark place for a long time, but if you keep going like this you'll be falling into that same place soon, if you haven't already."

"I haven't. I can't-"

"Okay, okay, calm down.", he pressed his shoulders down a bit, focusing Jeongin on his words again.

"My point is, it's not a sign of weakness to show you're not at your best, even if it's just for a bit. We all have the right to fall of track sometimes, to not be okay. We're idols, yes. But we're also humans, Jeongin. Humans break, cry, are sad a lot of times." He ruffled the younger's head, finding his hand. "But humans have other humans, we have each other, and Innie we both know no one in this group would even mind doing anything that can help you get through this or at least, be a bit better." Jeongin stared at him speechless, his chest hurt a bit, but the usual feeling didn't came fully, he simply stared at Changbin, letting the older's words sink into his brain. "I know you're overwhelmed now, and you probably feel like sleeping again, which is okay. You're tired."

"I did nothing all day."

"Your mind, your brain is tired, you don't need to overwork yourself to exhaustion to be tired, Innie.", he sighed. "I'll leave you now, so you can rest a bit, but please think about what I said. I know it takes time, for ages Felix was the only one I let see that side of me, thinking it was broken. You know what he told me once?"

Jeongin smiled a bit.

"What?"

"That the stars that we saw on the sky were broken too, and they still shine.", he pulled a blanket over the youngest member and caress his face once more. "You're strong, beautiful and an amazing person, Yang Jeongin, you have talent, a lot of it, and you have us. So maybe you're right. You have the perfect life right here, so let us help you enjoy it."

Jeongin slept alone for the rest of the day, but when he was called for dinner he was feeling better.

He left the room, sitting immediately and nodding at everything he was offered from the table.

He didn't say much as the other's talked, simply smiling and looking around.

He loved those guys, and they loved him.

He couldn't love himself yet, and maybe that was okay.

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Crying inside