Jigsaw Girl

I see you for exactly who you are

After Lexa finishes her old letter to Clarke in the chapter, she puts the book down on the bed before starting the next. Clarke had been silently crying on Lexa's chest through both chapters, but the letter finally broke through her resolve.

"I'm so sorry..." It's all Clarke could say as she sat up so she could stare into Lexa's eyes. "I'm so... I wish... if I could take it back..." Clarke finally lets her chin fall.

"Hey." Lexa says, bringing Clarke's chin back up. "I know. I know, Love." Lexa makes sure she says it slow and that Clarke's eyes were on hers. "I have had plenty of time to cope with what happened." Lexa takes both of Clarke's hands into her lap, before bringing them both up to kiss while she shakes her head. "I had a lot of time..." Lexa's voice gets caught in her throat, the emotion finally getting the best of her. Looking down at Clarke's hands, she brings them back up to her mouth, so she could kiss them again and when she looks back up, she can't hold her tears off for any longer. Lexa swallows hard and tips her head back to try and stop her tears from falling.

Unable to stand the sight, Clarke moves herself into Lexa's lap and wraps her arms around Lexa's shoulders, hugging her tightly. Clarke was silent for a few moments before her own small sobs started to break out. "I wish I could go back. More than anything because I know I messed up Lexa. I know I did and I'm so sorry."

"We can't go back." Lexa pulls away slightly and takes Clarke's face in her hands. "But we can move forward." She looks into her eyes before placing a much needed kiss to Clarke's lips. "We can heal together."

Nodding, Clarke leans in for another kiss before laying back down onto the bed. She pulls Lexa with her and settles herself perfectly into Lexa's arms, against her chest. "I'm scared." Clarke finally whispers after a few silent moments had passed. "I'm scared to read what comes next."

"Me too." Lexa admits, while holding Clarke tighter. "But we don't need to finish it tonight. We have plenty of time." She leans down and kisses the top of Clarke's head.

"A whole lifetime..." Clarke says referencing back to Lexa's letter.

Lexa smiles hearing the words and nods. "That's right." She leans down and kisses Clarke's head before running her nails up and down Clarke's back, knowing how much it soothes her. "I love you." Lexa whispers, knowing Clarke is close to sleep. "I love you so fucking much, Clarke."

"I love you." Clarke responds softly and those were the last words Lexa heard before they both fell peacefully asleep, holding on to each other for dear life.

The next morning, the sun had woken Lexa up, much the same way it had the day prior. It was already high in the sky, meaning she had slept late. But this time, she didn't have to wonder if she had been dreaming of being with the love of her life. Because when she woke up, Clarke was still in her arms and hadn't moved an inch.

Lexa doesn't hold back the smile as she leans down to smell the beautiful and bright head of blonde hair that still rested on her chest. She brings her hand up and starts to run her fingertips ever so lightly up and down Clarke's bare back.

Clarke makes a small sound of approval before stirring a little in Lexa's arms. Lexa doesn't want to wake her, so she doesn't say anything but continues the soothing motion and just thinks about everything that's happening.

Having Clarke home was an amazing feeling. Clarke wanting to work on things, even more so. But knowing that Clarke was going to stop letting her illness define who she is and what her life should be, that took the cake for Lexa.

All Lexa has ever wanted, was for Clarke to see herself in the way everyone else did. Everyone who has ever loved Clarke as a friend or family, knows just how special she really was. She gave everything that she could, to those special few she cared for and that's not an exaggeration. Clarke was strong and selfless, having given up a lot of her life when her father died. And that's why Lexa's not angry with the fact that Clarke left her. Lexa knows deep down, Clarke truly believed leaving would be what was best for everyone, even though she was wrong.