to hayoon:

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Dear Hayoon,

If you get this letter, it means 2 things. Either I'm dead, or I'm alive, just not with you. I wrote this a day before I had to leave to the US. When you get this, it's probably after a year or two has passed, right? Anyways, I'll explain everything now.

I'm the heir to a company. You know this, right? Yeah you do. But what you don't know is, how my parents are. Yes, you've met them. They seemed nice, right? Wrong. They don't hate you but, they don't like you. And you are also standing in the way of a contract between our company and Heeseung hyung's company. So, they will kill you. If, I don't leave you.

So, I have no choice. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I never wanted this. But I'm so sorry.

My parents are vicious. When I was younger, I'd get punished for not getting straight As. I don't know if you count locking me up in my room without food and just studying everyday as abuse but, Heeseung hyung does. Luckily, it stopped. But, it left some trauma on me. I'm too scared of my parents now.

Hayoon-ah. I really love you. You are the first person I've ever really loved. I had a crush on you since we were 16. I saw you sleeping in class. You looked really cute. I just never thought you'd actually like me too. I guess I'm just so lucky to have a girl like you. But, I'm sorry. The world wants to play with me and torture me. And I'm sorry. I looped you into this madness.

I'm leaving. I have to. To protect you. I know I said to wait for me, but don't. If I ever come back, I'll be married to Heeseung's spoilt brat of a sister. If I don't, I'm already 6 feet underground. So don't wait for me, and go live your life. Forget about me and move on. I know it'll be hard, but I want you to do so.

I might do something stupid tomorrow. I hope I don't chicken out. I probably won't though. Because when I had to leave you, my soul died forever. The only part of me left is my love for you.

Please hate me. Hate me for being weak. Hate me for being a coward. Hate me for leaving you for so long. Hate me. So you can forget me. And tell Jake hyung I'm sorry. We'll be friends again in our next lives. And hopefully the world won't play with me again. Hopefully I won't be a weakling anymore.

And hopefully, I can love you freely. Where no one and nothing will stop us. (except maybe Jake hyung)

So my sweet Hayoon-ah, please let go of me, and be free. I will always love you. And I'm sorry.

Love,
Jungwon

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