|| 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 ; 양정원

#12

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Hayoon's POV
So this is how I'm spending my lunch break, huh? Sitting in front of 5 boys about to explain stuff. About my life, or Jungwon, who is part of my life. But I can't fully explain it because Heeseung doesn't want to explain the whole thing because he isn't talking to them yet. So I have to tell them that Jungwon tried committing self delete without telling them why.

I just took a sip of my coffee and continued keeping my mouth shut, because it felt way too awkward to do anything other than that. I'll just wait for one of them to speak.

"Are you gonna say anything?" Sunghoon said, looking up from his phone.

"Well, you guys are supposed to ask me questions and I'll reply."

"Oh, okay. Let's start with what's going on with Jungwon." Sunghoon said.

"He tried to commit..... He tried to self delete, but he survived?"

"Yeah, that's obvious. But why did he do that?" Sunghoon continued asking. I just started drinking my coffee again.

"Hayoon?" Sunghoon's eyebrows furrowed.

"Fine, uh, no I can't say. Heeseung will talk to you guys, maybe. Someday. I dunno."

"So we need to wait indefinitely to find out why Jungwon tried to...." Jay asked.

"Yeah, basically."

"Oh."

"But why isn't he waking up? Is there something wrong?" Sunoo asked.

"No, I mean, there's nothing wrong. He's just...... not waking up. I have no idea why."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost 2 years?"

"He should wake up by now." Sunoo muttered unhappily.

"Yeah but he isn't. We can't really do anything. I guess, we'll just have to wait."

"When will Heeseung talk to us?" Sunghoon asked.

"When he feels like it."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Can't he just tell us now?"

"I think he has some personal issues to sort out first. Or unresolved past stuff."

"Okay now on to you, why did you quit school?" It's now my brother's turn to question me. I just stared at him with a 'are you for real?' look and started drinking my coffee again.

"You want us to leave?" Sunghoon asked, obviously feeling the tension.

"Yeah sure." I replied. And the 3 of them got up and went outside to wait for Jake.

"So?"

"Because I never wanted to study medicine."

"But you were able to get in to the stream. You should at least try?"

"But I never wanted it. Just because I managed to get in doesn't mean I'll be able to manage the stress I got from it. I wanted to do something I wanted. Life isn't that easy, you know? You will never know how it feels to always be the disappointment, always being compared to you. I've lived my entire life trying to live up to our parents expectations and I fail every time because they want me to be like you. I'm done with always having to do what they want." I huffed and grabbed my cup angrily and drank the rest of my coffee.

Jake looked a little hurt. Did he take it personally? Well, I was being compared to him ever since I could remember anything about my life. How does he think I feel about that?

"Well, I uh, I'm sorry for what mom and dad did then. I'll go now. Uh, bye." And he stood up and left. yAy. Not. I did not mean to hurt him. Damn it.

I just slammed my head down on the table, frustrated with myself. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Uh, Hayoon?" One of my coworkers tapped my shoulder. I lifted my head.

"I'm fine. I'll go get food now. There's 30 minutes left?"

"Yeah. See you." She smiled.

"Yeah see you." I looked out to make sure they were gone, because I'm too embarrassed to even walk past them. The awkwardness would kill me. Luckily they were gone, so I hurried out to get food before my break ends.

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"Heeseung, I have a tiny question." I asked the CEO. He was at my house again to eat ramyeon, since he kinda lost his ramyeon eating buddy for 2 years.

"What is it?" He asked as he happily stuffed some spam slices in his mouth.

"Well, you see, my brother came to find me today, to talk, along with the rest of them, and they want to know, uh, about Jungwon." Heeseung stopped chewing and just stared at the spam in front of him.

"So well, uh, when are you going to talk to them again?"

"Dunno." He just shrugged and continued eating.

"Will you ever talk to them again?"

"Yeah. Just not now."

"Why? What difference does it make?" Heeseung just shrugged and continued slurping up his ramyeon. I glared at him, and he just stared back with his innocent, big, round eyes. His eyes turned to look elsewhere to avoid the question, but he eventually gave an answer.

"I just.... have some personal stuff to sort out..."

"How long will that take?"

"Depends on the effectiveness of my solutions. You know what, stop pressing me. I'll tell them when I want."

"Okay. One last question."

"Oh come on! Fine." He just crossed his arms in front of his chest and waited for me to speak.

"Do you want to be friends with them again?"

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i

wna unalive myself

also omg bts have their own insta accounts now and jungkook's username is just-💀

also them limiting comments and tags to each other is so sexy of them

anyways byee

aye we got blue haired jungwon and now purple haired jungwon and he looks so good in purple hair nahfisjahdjcjskjwjfkdkskdkf