Technoblade Never Cries - Technoblade Angst

<Chapter One> Just A Normal Day...

(I am putting the info list at the start of the first chapter, because I am a dumbass and forgot to leave the first chapter blank. Lol rip)

Info

Dave Harrison (Technoblade) 17 yrs, struggles with ADHD, Eating Disorders, Depression, Schizophrenia and Asthma

Wilbur Soot (Adopted son of Philza) 17 yrs, younger than Techno

Philip Watson (Philza or Phil) old

Tom Simons (Also known as Tommy) 16 yrs

Toby Smith (Tubbo) 16 yrs, older than Tommy

Technoblade's dad (Nameless bitch)

(DISCLAIMER: TECHNO'S FATHER IN THIS FIC IS NOT A DEPICTION OF HIS IRL FATHER. IT IS AN OC)

Trigger Warnings for the book:

abuse (both physical and mental)

blood

self harm

hallucinations

Eating Disorders

starvation? (kinda)

alcohol/ drug dealers (drug dealers are only mentioned once)

vomiting

body dysmorphia 

self hate

angsty Technoblade

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⚠️ TW: verbal abuse, mentions of physical abuse/violence, mentions of alcohol/drug dealers, self hate ⚠️

I think I got all of them, please comment if I missed any! Enjoy! 😃

On this particular morning, Technoblade woke up with arguably the worst headache he'd had in months.

He tried to sit up, but a sudden wave of dizziness washed over him.
Oh, not this again.

He heard a knock on his door. It was probably his father coming to yell at him for not being awake yet.

The door creaked open, aand... bingo.
The annoyed face of his father loomed in the doorway, tall and dangerous.
He grunted.

'Why are you still in bed?' He said, his words slightly slurred.
He was probably still hungover from all that alcohol he'd had last night.

Techno had begged him not to drink that much, but all he received was a punch in the ribs, and a beer bottle being smashed up against his head by his drunk father.
So of course he stayed quiet after that.

'I- I was just feeling a bit sick, but I'm getting up now. I'll be done soon.' Techno said hurriedly, starting to panic and jumping out of bed as fast as he could manage. 

  His father smiled coldly.

'Very good. As I am sure that you know by now, being sick is a choice. A weakness only pitiful children and cowardly slaves have.
Now get off your ass, unless you want to be one of them.' He slurred, his tone getting progressively louder and more aggressive.
The end part came out as more of a harsh shout than anything.

Techno nodded, tripping over his own feet in a futile attempt to get to his closet faster.

His father laughed at how pathetic he looked, saying one last thing before leaving the boy's room.

'Oh, and also. I'm going on a trip for work. I'll be gone for a few days. If I come back and catch you violating or doing anything against this house's rules, you'll regret it.'

For work. Yeah, right. Techno knew it was only to go and hang out with his alcoholic and drug dealer friends. But Techno didn't dare utter a single word about it, he didn't really feel like starting the day off with a painful punch to the ribs.
It may have also been to finally get away from his failure of a son.

Techno would hear it almost every single morning.

Things like "I wish you were never born", "you're the reason I drink" and "your mother should have aborted you while she had the chance" had become the most common of phrases in this household.

Yeah, that definitely fucked with the boy's mental health.
But however much he wanted to, Techno simply couldn't disagree with the truth.

He knew that everything his father said was the truth, and only the truth. Being ignorant would be being a coward.

Finally, he sighed, entering the bathroom to finish getting ready.

***

As Techno was walking down the road towards the bus stop, he noticed his best friend, Wilbur standing at the same spot, probably waiting for him.

But Techno was still feeling like shit, he wasn't sure he'd be able to pretend for too long.

Maybe he could actually walk to school, just this once. That might allow him to lose a tiny bit of weight, and make him just a little bit less fat.

God, it wasn't only his Minecraft skin that looked like a pig anymore.

Why did he have to eat so much anyway?
He was so useless. Not even his friends were real.
Even his own father despised him.

Lost in thought, Techno tried turning away from the bus stop and walking in the opposite direction, but it was too late.
Wilbur had already noticed him by now.

He turned towards the boy and smiled, waving.

"Hey Tech! Come here!' Techno sighed, defeated.

Slowly, he made his way over towards the bus stop, aware that he had a very long day ahead of him.

'Hi Techno, why were you heading in the other direction? You knew the bus stop was here.' Wilbur asked, curious.
But Techno didn't even acknowledge the question.

He was zoned out, simply staring at his friends face with his eyes unfocused.
Wilbur furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

'Techno? You there?'

After getting no response, he gently waved his hand in front of the older's face.
He blinked.

'Yeah? What's wrong?'

  Wilbur just looked at him for a second, worry obvious in his expression.
He now noticed just how pale and thin Techno was.

He held his hand to the boy's forehead, but Techno just flinched, backing away quickly.

'Tech, are you sure you're okay? I'm pretty sure you've got a fever.'
Techno shook his head.

'I'm fine, Wil. Really. Uh- the bus is here. We don't want to be late for school, right?' He said, swiftly changing the subject.

He indicated the large yellow school bus that had just pulled up by the stop.

Wilbur hesitated for a moment, before he followed the older inside.

~•~•~•~•~

2021.10.30