In Stone

28: "The goddess spoke to you."

28: “The goddess spoke to you.”

Once again, Caia found herself waking up with visions of a sculpture dancing in her head. It wasn't the one lost in the forest like before. Instead it was the half-finished goddess statue sitting in the sculptor's shack. She knew with a sudden certainly exactly what she needed to do to it, exactly how it needed to be finished.

However, she also felt her mind coming back to itself. She blinked at the ceiling of her room, her legs tingling with a slight pain of ruined skin, and tried to remember yesterday. She knew that it had happened, but for the life of her she couldn't tell exactly what had happened. It was a blur of emotions and feelings that she didn't understand. Waking up now though, she realized that, for a moment, however brief it was, she had lost her mind.

It was a thought that filled her with fear. She found her hands clinging to the sheets under her as she realized she had lost control of herself. Not just got confused or distracted. She had genuinely lost what made her her. She could still see herself wielding a stone dagger as though she had any experience with a weapon. She had threatened to kill those people, people that cared for.

Everything they said about her was right.

And now she was more than likely pregnant. She was planning to marry the man she loved in about two weeks, and she was hoping these people would accept her. She would be lucky, she realized, to make it to the birth without hurting herself even worse than she already did.

After some time passed, Caia pushed herself up on the bed because she could no longer stand to lay there and let her thoughts torment her. She couldn't, however, work up the energy to swing her legs over the side of the bed and actually stand.

There wasn't a mob outside of the house again. If anything, it was too quiet. She didn't however believe that she would be able to live peacefully after this. No one would want her to be around them and, barely remembering how she had lost herself, she couldn't even blame them.

Worse than that though, somehow, she felt like she had betrayed Caspian. She had had no control over herself, and she could remember her mind being lost to her, but she still felt like somehow she had let Caspian down in some way.

Maybe that's why he wasn't here. He had probably left her alone because he couldn't stand to be around her. She had proven that she was just as bad as Rowan. She hadn't hurt anyone, but who was to say that she wouldn't the next time around? Was he even now talking to Garrik about locking her away until the baby was born and she could safely be disposed of?

She pulled her legs close to her and hugged them tightly. She felt so cold inside. Her face fell against her knees as tears started falling. That hurt the scrapes on her legs even more. She had been so far gone that she hadn't cared for her own well being, much less anyone else's. She hadn't even thought of the baby that she might be carrying.

She had betrayed Caspian by losing her head. She had betrayed him by putting his child in danger and breaking his word to his entire town. If he never wanted to see her again, how could she possibly blame him for that?

“Caia? Caia!”

Her shoulders were shaking as she sobbed. It only got worse when she felt a pair of familiar, comfortable arms close around her. Then she was being rocked back and forth in Caspian's grasp as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear to calm her down.

She didn't know how long she cried. It was hard to keep track of time when you were that lost to despair. Caspian didn't leave her alone though. He continued holding her tight until her sobs trailed off and she was left hiccuping in his arm, clinging tight to his shirt in hopes of keeping him from leaving her even though she told herself it would be fine if he did.