Three Lives, Three Worlds: A Fated Love (Dong Hua/Bai Fengjiu)

Realisation

Fengjiu was shocked when Migu called to her that Si Ming was in the Fox Den. She immediately began pouring tea and setting the table with cakes.
"We don't need all of that." He sent her a pained smile.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked and he asked her to sit down.
"I know what you did." He told her and she felt the breath leave her lungs.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She attempted to bluff.
"I checked the three lives rock. Your name is not there." He told her and she shook her head.
"You should not know that! I made Mo Yuan promise!" She cried out, her eyes filling with tears.
"Little Jiu, what have you done?" He asked her, leaning over the table.
"I did what was right. Look how peaceful the realm is now. How could I be a good queen knowing I had not done my best?" She asked, composing herself.
"But you have given too much." He told her and she shook her head.
"I gave no more than Dong Hua Dijun." She made the comparison and he let out a pained chuckle.
"Are you happy now? That you have given as much as he did?" He asked and she covered her eyes with her hands for a moment.
"Of course I am not happy." Her voice shook with desperation. "My chances of happiness left me a long time ago. All I can do now is be a dutiful queen." She told him calmly and he felt her pain.
"Does he know?" She asked in a whisper and he nodded.
"You know Dong Hua can find out anything he wants." He told her and she felt her lower lip begin to quiver.
"I am sure he will judge me harshly." She predicted and he sighed, reaching over the table to take her hand.
"He is the only man who has known this pain. He would never want this for you." He told her and she nodded.
"I had no choice. The thought of loving another was too painful to bear." She admitted and he squeezed her hand.
"I can't fully understand why you did it. But, the realms are grateful."

Fengjiu stood to leave with Si Ming.
"I'm coming with you." She told him and he raised his brows.
"Why would you do that?" He asked and she looked him in the eye.
"I have to ask Dong Hua Dijun to keep my secret. I cannot have Gugu knowing what I have done." She told him and he let out a nervous laugh.
"I'm not sure that is the right thing to do." He thought about Dong Hua screaming at her about the dire mistake she had made.
"I don't care. I have to try to protect my reputation." Si Ming could not deny her anything, especially this. So he silently nodded, and led her to the heavens.

Si Ming asked Fengjiu if he could tell Dong Hua about her presence before she entered but she shook her head.
"I have to see him now." She told him and he sighed, watching her wade into the palace. Before Dong Hua Dijun could say anything, Fengjiu knelt and bowed her head to the ground.
"Dijun, I am asking you to please keep my secret." She begged and he walked over to her.
"Do you know what you have done?" He asked her, as she remained bowed.
"It was a small price to pay." She told him and he laughed loudly.
"I will ask you again in ten thousand years, when you are still alone." He told her and she raised her head.
"I believe it was a small price to pay." She repeated, looking into his eyes.

Dong Hua had attempted to be strong and plead indifference. But when she looked at him with such assurance that her heart was worthless, he had to compose himself. He turned his back to her.
"You don't know what you're saying." He told her, feeling a tear touch his cheek. He had hoped he would gain some enjoyment from watching her be in love with another one day. But she had cursed herself to the same existence he had endured for millenia.
"I am just asking for you to keep my secret, Dijun." She reminded him and he nodded, his back facing her.
"I will keep your secret. But I cannot forgive you for what you have done." He told her and she sighed.
"There is nothing for you to forgive. It was my price to pay." She told him and he seethed, turning to her, rage in his eyes.
"You gave me your heart! And now you throw it away like it means nothing! Do you have no respect for me?!" He shouted at her and although she had expected to cry and be frightened of him, she became enraged, standing.
"What good is my heart in the possession of a man who cannot give his own?! Now we are equal! You have promised to not tell anyone. I will leave now." She turned and stomped out of the palace.