boomb and meeroline //a true love story//

chapter 3

Two years later
Wilteen:

HEY BESTIES!! so my name is wilteen. i am meerolines very best friend in the whole entire world. i have a wonderful boyfriend named pukey, he ignores me all the time and tries his very best to stay away from me, but i'm sure he loves me. ❤️

meeroline is the greatest best friend in the world that i could ask for. she smells terrible, just like me, and had a great sense of humor. she's such a nice person, that on the first day of fifth grade, she knew pukey wouldn't be able to resist her, so she violently aired out her armpits so he would projectile vomit across the room and onto her. he was no longer attracted to her.

my hobbies consist of putting large amount of ketamine in people food and drinks, violently wanking at any given time, pretending to be a diehard cowboys fan, and being an absolute joy to anyone around me.

"HEY BITCHFACE!" I called to my mom as I walked through the door. "IM HOME, SHITWAD!" I screamed at her and threw the cat downstairs.

I walked up to my messy room and immediately started crab walking in a circle while chanting, hoping that maybe an axe murderer would come and kill my math teacher, mrs. lickdatdick.

she is an awful math teacher. i can't help but laugh when she talks about her childhood trauma.

"heyyyyy mommy....." i called from upstairs in my sweet innocent voice.

"what do you want?"

"can meeroline come and spend the night?" i asked hoping to have some quality wanking time with my bestie.

"no."

AHHHH

i started throwing a violent fit. i scream and cry and hit the ground. and when she doesn't budge i throw shit at her from out of my pants. she still doesn't say yes, so i motion my hands around creating a spell.

"axoooeteababatewanana." i cast the spell on her and she says yes.

"haha that's what i thought bitch."

so she texted mother meeroline. she was soon to reply with yes.

me and meeroline are going to have a fun lil sleepover.

i galloped back to my room to prepare some HA 👹 activities... if you know what i mean 😏

i cleaned my room completely, well, all i did was shove the animal skins under my bed and the moldy shit in the closet, and say hi to meriks vomit that has been laying in the closet since last time meeroline and i had a sleepover.

i then remembered my anger for my little brother. i busted threw his door and threw a bucket of cow saliva on him.

then, i heard a sudden knock on the door.

meeroline and wilteen sleepover=started.

***
HEY BYESTIES 👹 it's wilteen here.
yes. i actually am wilteen. this book is a joke about my best friend and a boy she used to like, she is also writing one about me called 'Pukey and Wilteen / a love story' by dUpLiCiTyAdIcT. that's a great before or after school laugh so you should totally go read it.

also, this is your daily reminder that if someone isn't a byaddie to cut them off. or if they act like maria and steal fries.

byaddie vibes only people 😎

and i would strongly recommend violently wanking while reading harry styles one shots.

BYE BYESTIES 👹