In the World of Downton Abbey

Chapter 19 - Rejection

She had to see Thomas and tell him everything, that she loves him and wants to marry him. She didn't care that she was from a different time and reality—she should be with the man she loved, and who loved her with all this heart. First, though, she needed to clear things up with Matthew, and give him an answer to his proposal. She didn't look forward to that, knowing what she decided to tell him... but it has to be done.

That night, after she spoke with Mrs. Crawley at the hospital, Mandy sat in the drawing room, which was lit by lamps in the room and the low evening light came through the window. She had come home from work an hour before, and knew that Matthew came home about an hour-and-half after her, at 6:30. Her heart pounded as she sat there on the sofa, staring at the unlit fireplace, her sweaty hands deep in her lap. She jumped a little when she heard the front door open, and her heart pounded harder in anxiousness, hitting her chest with each beat. She took a deep breath and smoothed out her white blouse and plum-purple skirt. The door to the drawing room opened.

"Mandy," came the familiar male voice. "You're home. Where's Mother?"

She smiled at him, a forced smile, as he walked in front of her, and she had to hold her breath at his extremely good-looking appearance—gray suit with a light-blue tie, which made his beautiful blue eyes seem even more big and blue. His blonde hair also shined.

"Um... she's not home yet," Mandy replied. "Late day at the hospital."

"I see."

He stood there for a few moments, staring at her, a cute smirk on his face. Why does he have to look so darn hot now of all times? "You look beautiful," he said.

She gulped, trying to compose herself and her heating cheeks. "Thank you."

He sat down in the beige armchair facing her and met her gaze again. He said in a low tone, "Have you thought about it?"

She knew exactly what he meant. She pursed her lips, knowing what her answer was. "I did. It was all I could think about since you asked me. It kept me awake at night thinking about it."

"I'm sorry I cost you a good night's sleep," he said with a chuckle. "I admit that I lost sleep as well."

"I guess we both have that effect each other."

"I suppose so."

The clock on the fireplace mantle ticked away as they sat there, Mandy trying to form how she would start her answer to his proposal. "Um... Matthew..."

"Yes, darling?"

Her heart jumped. He wasn't making this any easier for her. "Matthew, I really did think about it, and..." She twisted some fabric on her purple skirt. It took all her courage to say, "I can't."

She imagined what he face would look like after she revealed her answer to him, and she wasn't surprised in the least to see his gleeful eyes and smile on his face disappear. His lips lowered to a frown and he looked to the side, away from her gaze. The atmosphere in the room suddenly turned thick and uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but... I don't think it would be right. I mean... me? The heiress of Downton?"

"That wouldn't matter, Mandy," he said gloomily. "You know I don't care about class."

"It would matter, Matthew. I don't think people would be happy if the inheritor of Downton married a previous housemaid-turned accountant."

His lips pursed together, and he met her gaze, his eyes sad. "Is that all that's keeping you? You love me, don't you?"

"Yes, but..."

"Then why bother caring about all the other things when you love me and I love you?"