im at a definite loss with myself
i've felt the love like the love i've seen on tv screens
i've pushed myself to become a better person
not only for myself but for everyone around me
i try my hardest, my best to succeed
but nothing around here can please me
i feel broken
very lost within myself
but you're having a baby leska.. how much worse could it be?
i am tired
i am extremely tired
i am in pain
i am so sad
i am depressed
i am anxious
i feel like i can't ever be enough
i've made my mistakes
i've fucked up my life
i've fucked up trust multiple times
but i've changed
i'm secluded within myself now
all i have is me because that's all i'm comfortable with
i don't know how to express the pain i feel inside
or why i feel said pain
i want my bad thoughts to go away
i want to stop hurting my own feelings
i want the intrusive thoughts to STOP!
i can't keep living this way
it sickens me that i want to feel pain that i inflict towards myself
my want, my yearn to take a blade to my wrist has NEVER EVER been so fucking STRONG
it is.. crippling me.
