Before I Was Seen

Playground

I always watch the other kids playing.

I'm not good at climbing, I've never had any practise, I must say it is fascinating seeing kids my age practically fly up the climbing frames.

I'm not even sure I know how to do the monkey bars. My peers make it look easy however. They grab hold, swap hand, swap hand, swap hand, over and over again then they're at the other end, just like that.

The pole as well. From watching, I think you grab hold and somehow you slide down but I can't figure out in my head how to go about sliding down. If you don't grip hard enough, you fall, but if you grip too hard, you can't slide. So how am I supposed to grip it?

I once saw a kid I thought seemed very kind shove another kid from the pole. The poor kid hit his head really hard on the tarmac. He cried a lot. I almost cried for him, but I got weird looks.

Understandably. I was just a random nameless child watching from far away, crying. Staring.

Sometimes, I wait until all the other kids leave.

I'm too afraid to climb, or try the monkey bars, I'm not that sure I know how to go down the pole, but I like the slide.

I walk up the slide, clutching the stinging cold sides to aid my trek up. Then I sit down, shivering at the cold, and I laugh whilst I slide down.

Then I climb back up.

It's fun.

Not... Well... It doesn't sound fun. I promise it is.

The slide is metal, I think... it's shiny. And grey. Unless it's wet, it's easy to climb up. I have good grip on my shoes so even if it's wet, I can get up.

There's a game the other kids play when it rains. They challenge each other to make it all the way up the wet slide. I love seeing them try.

I can scale the slide in 2 seconds, when it's dry, I counted. If it's wet, it takes 4.

They all swarm around whoever's climbing to catch them if they fall. I don't need that though, I'm good at climbing the slide.

Sometimes when I remember to save money for myself, I buy ice cream before going to the park. Especially in Summer, I try to keep some money aside.

Something I've found enjoyable about moving around a lot is the different types of play equipment you can find in all these different playgrounds.

There were these weird things once or twice.

I'm not sure what they're called, but you sit down, and they have a spring, and you can lean back and forth and the seat will move with you. You can bounce kind of, I don't know if bounce is the correct word, back and forth. They tend to look like animals.

Am I making sense?

There was a zebra one. I'm not sure what the other animal was, it was... To be honest l, no offense to the designer, but it did not resemble an animal. At least not one I've seen.

I didn't like that much though, but I think it was a funny idea.

I only dislike it because the time I rode the zebra one, I sent myself flying.

I think I leaned too much into it.

But it was fun for that... for the 1 second I actually spent on it.

It really hurt my butt when I flew off it.

I can't call it a grudge, but I also can't say I'll forgive whatever that zebra thing was.

One time, I made my Mother go to the park with me, late at night though.

I didn't go on anything but the swings that time. I don't really like the swings unless someone is pushing me, I can't go that high on my own.

She pushed me higher than my legs could swing me.

It was fun.