"You gotta deal." Chowder smiles, shaking the jolly man's hand. They smell like old shoe.
<<Time Skip>>
Having lost his father and his lover, Chowder knows he needs this chance. A chance to find true love. He's wearing his finest outfit, a shiny, purple sequin dress and itchy high heels. When Chowder was shopping for his first day on the job, he figured slutty was better than nutty. He made sure to get a really short dress and fish net leggings. Chowder had even painted his nails black the night before.
Walking in, Chowder's heart starts pounding. What if there are total babes here? Chowder can't risk babes seeing him strip. He clearly didn't think this through.
Santa started stomping towards him, shaking the ground with his every fat footstep.
"Ahhh, Chowder!! If it isn't you! My god, you don't look a day over 20!" He shouts
"I'm 18...." Chowder looks away at a drunk guy jerking off in the corner. "I think, er, you should attend to that guy over there..." he gestures towards the guy in the corner.
"AH WHAT THE FAUK!" Santa shouts, putting Chowder down and running off towards the guy pleasuring himself.
"NUH-UH, NOT IN MY CLUB. THIS IS THE NORTH POLE, BITCH!" He screams, literally kicking the guy out on his ass.
That guy had to at least be sixty one when I looked at him. He was getting off at a picture of an anime girl/vocaloid on the wall he was facing. No wonder, she did have long pigtails...
With "Heya!" by OutKast blaring on the speakers, he stands up to the podium with the pole attached to it and started twerking. He hadn't exactly done this before. Maybe one time when he was high off his knickers with Schnitzel, but not officially. Red and green lights flashing on, off, and around him as he did his amateur stripper dancing, he started to see money fly his way. This just made him excited. oh, how rich he's gonna be!! Santa was giving him a thumbs up in the background; he felt compelled to keep going.
Suddenly, someone picks him up off the pole and starts beating his ass with a musty, crusty, cane. They smelled like old lady.
"STOP IT, PLEASE!!" He hears Santa shout as his fat footsteps shake the ground, causing mini earthquakes.
"Who is this bitch?" He thought to himself. "Does Santa-daddy know them?"
He could feel himself black out as he started slowly closing his eyes.
YOU ARE READING
CHOWDAA I NEED THE DAMN SALT
FanfictionChowder left where he was working for Mung. After having a wild night at the local bar and meeting a jolly someone, who taught him he could get over his father's death, he decided to pack up and head to the north pole--a strip club. Located in Detro...
