On edge

Part 3

The day was half over, and Takagi's name still plagued every quiet moment in Nishikata's mind. 'This can't be right, why does it feel like her name is etched into my skull? ... Takagi!' He let out a sigh of defeat and collected his things for lunch. 'I hope this doesn't mean I've fallen in love with her.' He got up and began walking out of the classroom with Takagi. "I'll see you after lunch." He said half-heartedly.

Takagi paused for a moment before giving a wave. "Yeah, see you after lunch." She said before slowly turning and walking in the other direction.

Nishikata looked at her a little surprised and concerned; there was something off about her reply, almost like she was sad about something. 'Why do I feel like I'm about to do something I'm really going to regret?' He walked towards Takagi, intent on finding out what was wrong. "Hey, Takagi?" He said, catching her attention. "Is everything okay? You sound upset?"

"Oh, do I?" She asked as she began playing with a strand of her hair. "Well ... maybe a little ... you see, most of my friends are busy today, so it'll just be me alone at lunch today."

"Want me to sit with you then?" Nishikata asked almost instinctively.

Takagi gave him a surprised look. "Are you-" She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath through her nose. "I'd love that."

Nishikata felt his heart skip a beat after hearing her say the word 'love.' 'We're just eating lunch together, nothing special, right?' As he followed her, he found himself staring at her again, until his eyes set sights on her lips. 'All I have to do is not press my lips to hers ... or allow her to press hers to mine ... not that she would ... Takagi ... but ... Takagi ... when we're alone ...' He began to imagine the two of them together, with her sitting in his lap in his arms and their lips pressed tightly against one another. 'Their so soft ... Takagi ...' His eyes began to close until he managed to snap back to attention. 'GAH, what am I doing? If I keep this up, then we'll be shopping for houses together before I know it!' He took a deep breath and calmed down. 'Relax Nishikata, you're ignoring a very important fact, all this would be pointless if she doesn't feel the same way.' He felt a pit form in his stomach. 'I mean ... it would hurt ... and I should still avoid falling in love with her ... but ... we wouldn't end up together ... Takagi ...'

He managed to maintain his cool until they found a secluded stairwell, where they sat down and began opening their bentos. "Thanks again for eating lunch with me," Takagi said as she separated her chopsticks.

"It's no problem," Nishikata said as he also separated his chopsticks. "We're friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah." Takagi paused as she stared at her bento. "The two of us ... sitting together alone ... I like moments like these."

"Y-yeah." Nishikata stuttered out. "It's ... nice ... being able to eat with someone important to you." Nishikata caught what he said and instantly tried to correct himself. "An important friend, I mean."

Takagi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and blushed ever so slightly. "Do you really mean that?"

"Well yeah." Nishikata began. "I mean outside of my family, you're probably the most important-" He froze again, now trying desperately to figure a way to rephrase his statement. 'Damn it, what do I do? She's gonna think-'

"Are we really just friends?" She asked as her blush deepened to the point where Nishikata could even see it. "I mean ... that's the third time you've slipped up today."

Nishikata's heart began to beat a mile a minute as he placed his hand over it to try and calm himself. 'Am I ... am I already too late?'

He moved to place his other hand on the ground to try and steady himself, but as soon as he did, he felt his hand touch something soft. 'No.' He looked over to see his hand on top of Takagi's. He reflexively tried to move his hand away, but his hand, as well as Takagi's, would do little more than flinch slightly. 'It would be so easy.' Nishikata thought as he looked at how close their fingertips were. 'I could just interlock my fingers with hers, tell her I think of her as more than just a friend, accept my future, and be done with this damn struggle.' He looked at her and saw her looking at their hands surprised. 'Why isn't she saying anything?' She looked at him, smiled, and began wiggling her fingers ever so slightly as if inviting him to take her hand. 'DAMN IT TAKAGI! I just ... wanna ... Takagi.' His hand slowly moved closer to hers, and the moment their fingers touched, Nishikat could feel his heart in his throat. 'I ... I ... why is she doing this? Does she-' His mind began to wonder, an image of his fingers slowly taking her hand, then sitting there, until he threw his other arm around her into a hug, whispering how he feels about her in her ear.

"I'm fine with it if that's what you're worried about," Takagi said as she looked at him.

'Takagi ... is fine with it?' Nishikata thought as his fingers crossed with hers ever so slightly. 'I ... I ... NO!' He regained his senses and retracted his hand, closing it into a fist, before turning away and scarfing down his bento. 'That was too close.' He thought as his heart still raced. 'I won't give in, I haven't fallen for her just yet ... I hope ... but I need to be more careful.'

He looked back to see her staring at her now-closed hand, a little sad. 'She ... Takagi ... does she like me?' He looked back at his hand as his concerns began to grow. 'No ... I've been overlooking the obvious ... Takagi can read me like a book, and like she already said, I've ... really been failing at not looking suspicious. There's definitely no way she doesn't know that I'm slowly falling for her ... which ... would mean ... the only reason she would say something like that ... is if she's okay with me falling in love with her. But if that's the case ... then that would mean ... ' He began to blush. 'That she likes me.' He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself a little. 'If that's the case, then she'll escalate any sort of romantic action, and before I know it, we'll be looking at venues for our reception.' He shook his head. 'I need to stay on my guard, no matter what!'

As Nishikata sat there, being afraid of something that he had no actual reason to be afraid of, Takagi just stared at her hand with a feeling of being let down. 'Nishikata.' She turned away and placed her hand to her chest as she began to tremble, with a nervous smile and deep blush on her face. 'That was ... so close ...' She stood up and began rapidly walking away. "I need to use the bathroom."

She quickly made her way to the girls' restroom, and as soon as she got into a stall, she collapsed against a wall and began breathing heavily with her face nearly as red as a tomato. "Oh my ... that was ... he almost ... we almost ..." She took one deep breath and calmed down. "But I just couldn't do it ... I just had to push a little bit more and grab his hand ... but I still can't work up the courage when it really matters."

She looked at her hand as she began to shake. "I need to pull myself together ... there's not much time left."