Eternal Flame

Chapter 2

Several weeks later, I still had not heard a peep from her. After I had my staff get a new phone, I left several messages. I think I ran the gambit from apologetic, to funny and witty, to angry, to pleading, to telling her to go to hell. Wash, rinse, repeat... All I got in return was silence. And possibly another stomach ulcer. I'd make sure to send her the medical bill. I decided to stop contacting her. She'd always reacted so well to being ignored.

On the other hand, the show was finally coming together. Tonight's rehearsal had been amazing. The old feeling was back- the goosebumps when I looked through the curtain of the stage lights and saw the dancers laughing, clapping, singing, crying.

Yeah, baby. There it was. The old magic was back. The doubts and fears that had fueled the hard work were bearing fruit. We were a bit behind schedule, but nothing major. Time to take this show on the road. Literally.

As soon as my back hit the back of the car, a fog of fatigue swallowed me. Every muscle burned and throbbed. The bass line was still thumping along in my head. Vision became blurry as the streetlights became ribbons of florescent silk and my eyelids closed, weighed down comfortably. Good, maybe I could sleep again. I'd done pretty well the past couple of nights. The streets were empty and we made really good time. The doc was notified to be at hand when I got home. Despite the tiredness weighing down my limbs I feared the high from having taken flight might keep me from sleeping. The closer we came to the house, the worse the apprehension became.

My wonderful friends were outside the house, waiting for me. God bless them- to stand out there at almost 1 am. No matter how tired I was, I needed their love - and I needed to let them know that I valued their time.

"We don't have to stop, you know?"

My staff never quite got it. What were a few minutes...

"No, but we do."

And we did.

Entering the house, I went to check on the kids. They were fast asleep. My little angles were safe and protected in their dream world. I looked around their rooms- they had started to pack for London. It was so great to see them this excited - they were looking forward to the great adventure about to begin. Perceiving all this through their eyes was worth every drop of tear and sweat.

Before hitting the shower, I asked if I had any messages. No, of course not. I checked the cell. Nada. That little bitch! How long was she going to play this game? Oh, she was gonna pay for this- and I would use my own brand of revenge on her. The thought got me even more wired. I stripped my pants and noticed my nerves were not the only things at attention. Great- maybe if I jerked off I'd get sleep. Or maybe, if Lisa wasn't so goddamn stubborn I would have this problem in the first place. Or these problems: insomnia and a huge hard on.

I surrendered to the warmth of the water raining down on me, bracing against the shower wall, not moving for several minutes, my mind powerless to stop the cacophony of images, sounds, and thoughts thundering through my head. When the kaleidoscope became too overwhelming I forced my eyes open and reached for the soap.

What I would not give to have her standing here with me. She'd know how to soothe me. She was the only person who could not only calm my body but my whole being. Her hands had the magical ability to reach beneath my skin. Her mere presence was the shelter from the storm and I could hide in her, replenish, and emerge stronger. I never fully understood what exactly she did to allow me to shed my old, crackled skin and let me grow a new armor to face the world. All I knew was that the process of growing a new shield didn't completely work without her.