VESTIGE

One

Last night was one of the worst beatings given to me by my loving stepfather cause I came ten minutes later than I was supposed to so he thought I was talking to a boy as usual.

I wondered if I will escape this hellhole when I remember that mom says that Allah does not burden a soul more they can carry and I pray that I can escape here and live a better life.

I am jolted by the sound of my phone adhaan ringing into the surface and I take time to absorb the beauty and I quickly perform wudhu and offer Salah to Allah and I hum some nasheeds in my head that I like while I prepare breakfast.

I remember when dad used to say that eating some certain foods was bad and I try to always eat what dad would have done.

I push the memories aside as I set the table and dash for school before any of them woke up and since I usually have about two hours to go I head to the park and sit down there doing some meditation and saying mashallah to the beauty in front of me ope to rise in my heart.

I see Macy walking down the stairs in nothing but a crop top and a short pleated skirt and I begin to hear the whispers "she's a freak,  she should see herself in the mirror again she should just disappear "

Bowing my head in shame I run to my class and sit down in the middle seat near the window watching the people outside.

I wish too and I still want to live life and become somebody someday if I was worthy cause right now am not. The voices speaking in my head.

"Miss would you like to explain to me what I just said"Mr. Collins calls out when I see the whole class snickering and I just turn to say something ... " but I couldn't finish my words cause someone beat me to it.

"Mr. Collins I mean no offense but why would she know she's a freak unlike her sister and what would a freak know nothing because she's a retarded fool who knows nothing except crying and trying to look innocent when in fact she's not " his voice dropped as he said the last part staring at me and I see the small smirk on Macy's face.

I feel like tearing it from her face and I face him with no words in my face and run out of the classroom still hearing his voice in my head " you're ugly, who would want you? you're filth we need to cleanse this earth from you".

Thanking God that I wasn't even wearing a hijab not that I was happy about it but if I did Macy would spare me and just report me to her daddy, putting me in more danger and beating and I can ould just die a freak. I slide against the wall putting my hands in front of me as a defensive form to protect my body when I realize it's dark.

I sigh mentally in my head preparing myself for another beating but I know it won't still be enough.