My plan doesn't work anymore...

being famous is exhausting

I go to my home with my cap on my head.
Because when I don't do that I feel all eyes on me and girls stop me each min to flirt with me.
I usually just ignore them and they give me a 'tchh' or even a 'he must be gay' it annoy me so much I just want to replie to them something like 'she must be a bitch' I mean seriously can't I just be myself without having to deal with them??

And something that bother me is recruiting company. Like why the hell do I attracted them so much, are they mosquitoes?
It's always 'you would make a great actor!' 'You are born to be an Idol!' 'You could become really famous as a celebrity!'
I mean come on ! I know it's just their job but do I really have to wear a t-shirt with a 'don't talk to me I don't search to be famous and I don't like people' on it!!??

So I just make sure to take a cap with me.
Don't get me wrong it feel great to know that people like you or your apparence but having intense staring  that you feel on you all day along is not confortable! I literally have anxiety attack sometime. It feel like million of stalkers follow each move you make!

So I just cover myself the most possible and it works.

As I take the subway, I search my earphone and install them in my ear. It feel so good because when I have my earphone and I don't feel stare on me I can just be in my little but confortable bubble.

I can't sit up because the subway is full already so I just stand near the door. I mumble the melody of the song. And watch the little kid playing alone. His mother was shouting something on her phone about how her husband will not be here today so she would go to 'his house'. The little boy have a sad figure. It didn't take a genius to notice that the woman was cheating on the father of the kid.
He was surely aware of that. I had pity for the poor kid.

When the metro reached the next station, the stop has been too abrupt causing the little kid to drop his toy and he couldn't pick it up so I pick it up for him and give it back.
Resulting by a "thanks sir" with a big smile
It warm my heart so I answer with a gentle smile
"It's nothing, your Dino is too cool to be dirty anyway"
"Oh you think my Dino is cool!! It's my father who bought it for me" but just after he got a sad expression
"But my father is not even there to play with me, he's never home"
He remembers myself when I was young so I really pity him
"If you want I can play with you" oh please I'm so cringe! What grown man would play at Dino with a kid. I look like a pedophile now??!!
I don't even have a Dino to play with him!
"You really want to play with me !!?" His eyes are now filled with hope. I can't just say no after all! Can I?

Gosh! I don't like sassy kids but adorable kid like him are my weakness
So I start to play with him or more like talk about what was written in his Dino book. It was actually quite interesting. I was able to sit on a seat because the girl that was sitting here left. I was grateful to her because I knew it that she let her place and not just had to leave. I think she saw my face because as I was thanking her she suddenly blush bright red and return violently to leave.
She was really cute, that's the reaction I like to receive!

5 station after, the kid and his mother had to leave so he thanked me with a big wide smile. My heart felt like being pierce by an arrow now.
HE'S JUST SO CUTE!!

So I continued to listen to my music with a gentle expression this time, I feel like people like them are my free therapists.
I really needed all that love after this exhausting day with my ex. I just want to go take a bath and lay down on my bed.

...

I am finally in my apartment and I directly start to fill the bathtub with the water while I'm taking my clothes and towel with me. I lay in my bath and suddenly hear a 'crack' and see my door slowly open..

It's my cat. He always do that when he knows I'm taking a bath I don't know why but he is just so cute. He approaches close enough to me to be able to leave a little kiss on his forehead.

When I finish my bath I just wear a pyjama and make myself a grill-cheese because even tho I lived here lonely for a long time I'm still not able to make me something good without being an easy meal. And anyway I don't have the money to buy expansives ingredients. I feel my cat sticking to me and I remember that I forgot to give him his meal so without waiting I give him his cat food portion.
After eating I start my homework and study, I finished a text to do so I will continue tomorrow I have 1 week to finish it anyway.
It's now 23 o'clock and I can't sleep so I took a little black jacket and and my cat to go outside.

As I was walking in the night with my cat beside me I see the beautiful reflect of the moon on the water, it's really beautiful I will never get bored of this view.
I sit down on the grass and my cat lay down on me as I pat his gray fur, he purr and I just relax in front of this beautiful view.

Walking in the night time was one of my favorite thing to do and my cat likes to follow me, he never goes in an other way and I never lost him before, he's like that one friend that always support you and would do anything with you. But in my case it's.. a cat.

I watch my phone and it show 00:26
Shoot! I have to come back because I will have zero energy tomorrow knowing me. So slowly I come back to my apartment.

I'm finally in my bed and it didn't even take 1 min for me to fall asleep.

...