Standard (Golden Child Jaehyun)

(1)

The young boy thought quietly as he stared his study guide down, spinning his pencil in his hand. He sat in his chair stiff and unable to concentrate, frustrated about the confusion he felt, the embarrassment that ate him up.

Poor Bong Jaehyun never had to fight or tussle in life for anyone, but himself.

And now suddenly, it's like shark around chum with her.

Everywhere he goes it's like he's competing with life over a stupid girl. All he can think about is that stupid girl.

He's always blamed it on the hormones that he's crushed over his friend, he's always tried to convince himself he'll get over it. It was a few months ago that he saw her differently, but there was no change in his behavior.

Well, he hoped it wasn't so obvious. He would flirt in a friendly way, but to an extent like how they usually would, only this time, his spoiled self would expect something from it.

No matter what he said and the matter of hints he gave she would always refrain from the topic, or act completely clueless.

Either she doesn't like him, or she's just really slow at times, he thought to himself.

Maybe, it was just the insecurity talking for him.

And, maybe after hearing the stuff that comes out of her mouth all the time, he was sure that she didn't like him like that at all.

He didn't push it.

Hearing her repellent replies, he thought about it, and decided to not test fate. They're friends.

A decent friendship that blossomed naturally, he shouldn't ruin that. He couldn't.

Though, I always sensed a tension between us- No stop!

Grabbing his phone, he rang his friend up, besides Mari, who was probably the only other person who could understand him in dire moments like this. And he was the only person he had told.

"Seungmin.."

"Yo, what's up?"

"Uhm, you doing anything?" His voice gave it all away that he was stressed just a moment ago.

"I'm actually at the Pub right now."

"Pub? Cool. You wanna meet up?"

"Might wanna stop yourself. Mari just walked in."

Jaehyun blinked before sighing heavily. "Why is she everywhere?" He muttered, mainly to himself.

"Oh. And Jibeom's with her." Seungmin added.

Jaehyun froze before his head collapsed on the desk, hugging his frame as he groaned weakly.

Their friendly date, which Mari told him about.

He could never really wrap his head around the series of emotions he felt watching her all spunk up and excited about it. Her reaction bothered him and it made him feel foolish.

He keeps forgetting he's not her only friend. And he needs to remember to stop being jealous because she honestly doesn't owe him anything. He's just a friend to her and nothing more. But, when it comes to Jibeom and his superiority, he can't help, but feel wronged.

Anytime, whether intentional or not he couldn't help but to compare himself to Jibeom, and knowing that she might have a hypothetical crush on him, made him resentful and diffident to the junior way more than it should've.

"Did you know they were gonna be together?"

"Yeah. She's talked about it a lot. She calls it a date." The straining in his voice tried to cover up the crossness in his tone.

"Do you still wanna come here? I mean, it's not the best idea but..."

"Nah, I'll just wait for her to come back."

"Alright. Take care."

As the phone hung up he groaned loudly in his hands, getting his frustration out with a stretch that his aching back desperately needed.

Looking around his desk, it was clear of the impression she left on him, her effect.

His test scores, evaluations, sophistication points, all his focus towards school and work was deteriorating.  She'd derived the only thing necessary for him to pass a course at this point.

For the most part, he was pretty intelligent. Never disappointed. Amazed many of his professors and colleagues.

Sadly, with the majority of his classes being with her, he can't really say he's paid 100% of his attention anymore.

Especially with her unexpected buddy coming into frame. Jibeom seemed to have some classes with her too, and most of the time is Jaehyun caught just gawking at the two whispering and looking at each other.

It made him irritated that his best friend was messing up his lifestyle, his train of thought, his education all at once.

But what can one do when it's your crush?

It's only natural, yet Jaehyun finds it hard to believe that Mari can twist his organs and throttle his heart and still be called just a "crush."

You're being delusional. He told himself repeatedly before attempting to use the rest of his focus on studying. Something he couldn't even do functionally as the majority of his thoughts were just Mari.

***