Beautiful (Supernatural Castiel Fanfic)

Chapter One: "Dean?"

OUTFIT: WORN OUT HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS W/ A TUCKED IN WHITE V-NECK. ALL WHITE CONVERSE W/LONG WHITE SOCKS. HAIR: HIGH MESSY CUTE SOCK BUN W/ A BIG WHITE BOW IN FRONT OF THE BUN.

JACKSONS POINT OF VIEW

It's been nearly four months since my brother's death, and I still havn't left Bobby's.. I feel like I owe it to Dean to try and be around more. Even if that means living here for the rest of my life. After all.. I could have saved him if I hadn't been wrapped up in my little New York fairy tale.. Atleast I can still keep my awasome job ! I'm a painter... A pretty successful one too ! So I can still paint and sell my paintings on my website, and just send them to my custumers ! I cleared out a room for me and Bobby made some room in his loft thingy for my little painting area ! I cleaned it out and ... ITS PERFECT BRO' ! Anyywhoo..

Sam left... He doesn't even call... When he told us he was gonna leave, I begged him not to go.. But he left anyway.. So I basically chill here at Bobby's all the time... Not that I'm complaining or anything.. It's just... I wish Sam was here...

I awoke to the voice of Justin Timberlake on my phone, I sighed turned it off then rolled out of bed. I stood up and grabbed my towel from the hook on my closet door. I walked to the bathroom, closed the door then got undressed. I jumped in the shower, letting the hot water clear my mind. After about 30 minutes, I turned off the water, wrapped a towel around me, and threw my dirty clothes in the basket. I walked out of the bathroom and into my room. Once I was dried off, I threw on some clothes and shoved my big glasses on my face. Like why would I wear my contacts if I'm not going anywhere ? I grabbed my shoes and trotted out the door and down the stairs. When I got to the second to last stair, I jumped, just as Dean and I used to do when Dad would take us here when we were kids. But when I landed I slipped on the foor ,which I mopped yesterday, and fell on my butt..

"Stuipid socks..." I mumbled to myself as I stood back up.

I slid into the kitchen and pulled the eggs and bacon out of the fridge. It had become a sort of tradition around the house, who ever gets up first, makes breakfast. Which basically means I make breakfast all the time, but I really don't care.. I tossed my shoes in the corner and washed my hands. About thirty minutes later I had finished cooking and was seated at the table with Bobby. But in the middle of our conversation the sound of the door bell immediatly startled us. "I'll get it." I said while standing up. Bobby nodded and sat back down. I grabbed my rock salt gun and slowly and cautiously opened the door.

"Dean?" I asked but not to the thing that I certainly didn't beleive was my brother, but to myself. "Jacky what are you doing here ?" he asked chuckling. I pointed my M16 at the thing possesing my older brothers corpse. "Wait wait wait ! Im not a demon ! " he said while pulling out his silver knife and cutting himself on the arm as my eyes widened "See not a dem-" he started but got cut off by my bone crunching hug."Miss Me?"he said sarcastically I just nodded in his chest. He patted my back "I missed you too." he said and kissed me on the top of her head. I pulled away and grabbed his hand like my life depended on it and led him to the kitchen. Once we were in the kitchen, Dean was met by a splash of holy water..

"I'm not a demon Bobby... " Dean said while cutting himself, yet again, with a silver knife. Bobby nodded uneasily and gave him a hug.

"So where's Sam ?" Dean said while rocking back and forth on his heals. I took a sharp breath and took a nervous glance at Bobby, pleading for him to tell the story. He sighed and started from when Sam first said he was gonna leave.....

SOMETIME LATER

" Then he just.. Left...". I finished, looking at my socks, which had all of a sudden became very intreaging. I couldn't bear to see Dean's expression as I finished the story. When I did look up at him, I only saw one thing in his eyes.... Disappointment. I can take that from anyone.. Just not him.. My older brother who I have looked up to my WHOLE life.. It was just... I can't explain it.. But when I could see the dispointment in his eyes, I felt disapointed in myself.. One of the worst feelings ever.

We are offically going to go and find Sam. And guess where he is ? Go ahead, guess ! Well if you guessed Vegas, your increibly WRONG ! He's in a town near where Dean was buried. So I can get my puppy that I had recently bought ! Bobby agreed to letting the dog stay because they can sense ghosts and shit.. I just wanted a pit bull, but hey I guess thats like a bonus or something ! And while I'm picking up the dog, I can go back to New York I'll be able to get some more of my stuff.. But I guess thats just another reality check... I'm not gonna be able to live there anymore.. Even though Dean is back, I'm already too wound up in this life to go back to what I called "normal".

I was thinking about all of this as I lugged my HUGE duffel bags down the stairs. "Need any help ?" I heard Dean ask from behind me. I dropped them and turned around. "Nah." I replied while kicking them down the stairs.. He smirked and shrugged "Yano your still lazy right ?" he said while walking down the stairs along with Me. I chuckled and nodded. We walked to my hummer in a comfortable silence. When both of my bags were in my trunk I sighed and grabbed Deans arm as he started to walk away. " I'm sorry.." I said while letting go and looking at the tips of my shoes, tears blurring my vision. I was scared, and I needed my brothers comfort. I silently cursed myself for being so selfish.

"For what ?" he said while taking a step forward.

I blinked twice "For not being there. For not trying hard enough. For not staying with you and Dad. I'm sorry for being so caught up in my little fairy tale, and not ever picking up the phone .. I'm sorry for not caring.. I never called, I never answered... I'm just... I was selfish.. And I promise I'll be here.. From now on..." I said fighting back a sob.

Then I felt him wrap his arms around me and pulling me in for a hug. "It's okay." he said.

"No it's not.. I barely found out about Dad, and I probaby wouldn't have heard about you, if Sam didn't show up. He and Bobby called so many times, but I could never answer it. I was just so scared of what I might hear. And to hear that my brother and Dad are both dead ! Then to afterwards hear how selfish and uncaring I am from my little brother... So no.. It's NOT okay Dean." I said while finally breaking down and letting those tears fall. Tears that I've been holding in for so long. I've been holding in everything, and to finally spill it all to my older brother just seems like the perfect way to let it out.

He pulled me in for a hug, I returned the favor, and finished crying into his shirt. Once i was done I pulled away and pulled myself together. "Thanks bro'." . I said. "Now get in the car, duche." I finished. With a smirk. "Whatever you say.. Ass." he said while opening the passenger door. I rolled my eyes at our little banter, and got into the drivers side. About five minutes of bantering later, Bobby was in the back telling us to "Shut-up ya idjits !" .

I rolled my eyes and started driving. I turned on my C.D, and continued driving.