Today instead of a sex story today we are gonna talk about my worst thoughts.
I've had abandonment issues since I can remember. I am recently engaged but I'm constantly afraid I'm not enough for him. He tries his best to make sure I know he loves me but I can't help but feel like he deserves better. Everyone deserves better than me. I laugh and act over energized to help cover me being sad most of the time. I try and give my all to everyone in my life because they all deserve the world. I am trying to better myself mentally but i was dealt a bad hand. I am trying to get employed so i can stop living off my fiancé but its currently a struggle finding someone on Georgia willing to hire a trans guy. Having to answer the phone and say my dead name hurts. Looking at my fiancé everyday just admiring him I can't help but imagine the day we will get married. I want a wedding with family and friends but i want them to only be at the reception. So many of my family members have turned their back on me, even my parents. Me and my parents have had so many arguments about me becoming who i really am. Me and my siblings have also had arguments about me becoming me. I don't think their is one family member who accepted me from the beginning other then both my aunt Kelly's.
I wish I could forgive them, I have tried to push it away but it still stings so bad. How could you turn your back on me when I was just becoming myself? My parents don't even like my own name. I am almost out of t and i cant do anything about it until I get a job and can go for blood work. I don't have the money to do blood work or make a appointment about t right now. I'm trying to get my sticker business to take off but unfortunately it's not.
