Activated

chapter 6

Lan was the first one awake among them. The Selati — Soji — snored at the far end of the chamber beside the ashes of the bonfire. Beika and Marceau had their backs to each other. He heard the swallows singing and the crickets chirping just beyond the cave, but the sunbeams reached only a few feet inside the cavern.

He slept too much. He still felt drowsy and tired, but his body ached for movement. He sat up and made a small flame over his palm. He held on to cold rock and rose to his feet, felt his weight being carried by his feet. He judged himself somewhat lighter now, thinner. He took one step, then another. He felt his heart beating, his joints angling, his muscles tightening. With one hand on the cave wall and another holding a Flame Lantern, he dragged one foot in front of the other, until he reached the mouth of the cave, until the breezes of the morning touched his skin. He waited while his eyes acquainted themselves once more with the bright light of the outside.

The blue sky, moving true clouds, grass underfoot, swaying trees, rustling leaves, singing birds, a morning breeze. He thought he would never see them again. He had readied his head and his heart. Yet now he stood by the cave he thought he would not leave. Beika and green hag Marceau. He never expected to see them again, to hear them arguing again. Yet he already had two days of hearing them, of watching them as they were back in the program training halls, misunderstanding each other and annoying each other. He stepped out of the cave, into the woods, feeling the soft ground beneath his shoes, feeling his body carried by his feet. He thought he would never do it again, but he was.

Why? Because two people needed him alive, when he wanted himself dead. Because people would not leave him alone, after leaving him alone for most of his life.

He strolled through the trees beyond the cave, taking frequent rests, not wishing to go far, too weak to do so. Nonetheless, the cool morning air filled his lungs agreeably, the scents of various wild flowers and fresh fruits wafted over him as he breathed deeply. He had to admit, he relished these simple joys, had forgotten how much he loved just walking through the fields on the way home, enjoyed walking through the woods on weekends. None of those simple pleasures were enough to keep him from activating Cold Sleep, though.

He could have chosen to walk on, deeper into the woods, and not return to where Beika was. It was a tempting option. But a part of him missed her and her eternal optimism. Another part of him was too tired to traverse portions darker than the rest, where the sunlight penetrated less. He went back, taking deliberate steps and wondering why he was deciding to live.

It had turned comfortably warm when he returned. Beika stretched her arms by the mouth of the cave, yawned until birds flew away from the nearest boughs. He chuckled to himself. Same old Beika, who did not care much what others thought of her actions, as long as she harmed no one.

She ran up to meet him, brushed away the bark and leaves in his hair and tunic. “Took a walk? I was wondering where you went. You should’ve waited for me.”

“You’d scare the birds away with your chatter,” he said with a slight smile.

She laughed. “You’re right.”

She placed her right hand over his forehead, frowning as her eyes reached his scarred left cheek. “Encode. System Scan. Activate.” He felt a gentle pulsing of lifecodes inside him as they were read. It took a few moments, then Beika removed her hand. “You took quite a long walk,” she noted. “But we’re leaving after breakfast…”

He shrugged. He was somewhat tired, but knew Marceau would not take no for an answer.

Marceau herself met them from inside. Her curly tresses fell in waves over her back; she had not tied it out of the way yet. “What are you two waiting for? He’s ready with breakfast!”