I Wanna Love Somebody Like You

11

In his entire life, Derek Shepherd had never thought that he would ever spend a Christmas by himself.

For as long as he could remember, he had spent Christmas surrounded by people, from the earliest memories where his father would let him help passing out the presents to the only Christmas he had spent with Addison's less than friendly family, he had always been surrounded by people and some kind of companionship. Even the Christmas following his father's murder was better than this. It had been marked with the loss of a man that they had all loved, much less cheery than usual, but he had had his family. His mother had been determined to ensure that each of her children knew just how much they were loved, and she had insisted on making sure that traditions his father had started to implement were followed through with.

And he knew that right now, his family was probably gathered around his mother's dining room table, the kids all bouncing with excitement while his sisters and their husbands were slightly tipsy from the several bottles of wine that had no doubt been consumed by now.

But he was sitting alone in his trailer in the middle of the woods, wondering exactly how he had gotten here.

It had been almost two weeks since he and Meredith had spoken. Or yelled at each other in the middle of Joe's, and he was completely lost without her. Seeing her in the halls at the hospital had been pure torture, and this morning when she'd passed him on the stairwell, he had wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and apologize. But she hadn't even met his eyes, and had been gone before he knew what was happening, and he had left without seeing her again.

Now it was Christmas Eve and he was lying alone on his bed, staring up at the snow falling down onto his skylight and wishing that he wasn't a complete ass.

He rolled over to Meredith's side of the bed, inhaling the deep scent of lavender on her pillow that lingered there. She was probably still at the hospital, having volunteered to work on the holiday and not caring about what she was missing. But he was most certainly missing her. And before he knew what he was doing, he was launching himself off of the bed, pulling on his coat and reaching for his car keys. He had to get to Meredith, he had to tell her how sorry he was and how much he wanted to spend Christmas with her, and he had to do it before the snow got too bad, before he was stranded at the trailer and the ferryboats closed for the Christmas storm that was coming.

He drove on autopilot towards the docks, easing his car onto the almost abandoned ferryboat and leaning back in his seat as he felt the engines moving beneath him. Meredith had to forgive him, she had to. It had been a stupid fight, one that had gotten out of hand easily and lasted much too long, but she would forgive him.

As the boat pulled up to the dock, he started to maneuver his car towards land, slamming on the breaks just before getting off the boat when he saw a very familiar jeep pulling onto the boat. He peered in the window to see Meredith biting her lower lip as she concentrated hard on the task at hand, and he laughed slightly. She always made him drive onto the ferryboat, insisting that she was too scared to do it. But she was doing it now, thinking that she was going to find him at the trailer. He couldn't help but smile, knowing that his relationship was going to be salvaged after all.

The horns behind him pulled him out of his trance, and he circled the car around, moving back to the car spaces and quickly stepping onto the deck, not bothering to lock his car as he moved towards the only other car on the boat.

She jumped when he pulled the door to the passenger side open, the fear on her face turning to relief, then confusion, and then apprehension all in the matter of a second. "Derek," she finally breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was on my way to the hospital," he admitted. "Where I thought I was going to find you."

"Oh," she breathed. "No, I...I took the night off. I worked Thanksgiving so I could have Christmas off."