Addicted to you//Mattheo Riddle

B R A I D

Mattheo Riddle

Jesus Christ I want a fucking cigarette.

I huffed walking out of the great hall after lunch, I'm not going to the rest of my classes. I can't stand being in them.

All I think about is Aurora, it fucking hurts.

She doesn't want me to visit her, and it sucks.

It's been two days since I went to her house and talked to her for the first time since everything happened. 'Talked'... I scoffed out loud, we didn't talk. Not about what we really needed to talk about.

I want her to feel comfortable about telling me what happened in the dungeon but I don't know how to make her comfortable if she won't speak to me.

I thought about writing to her, but she'd probably just ignore it. And I don't even know what I would say, plus she needs her rest.

It killing me, thinking about her constantly. Thinking about what she's doing, how she's doing, is she thinking about me? Is she thinking good things about me??

God I want out of my own head!

I want to fucking scream. AND I NEED A FUCKING CIGARETTE!

I quit a while ago because... Aurora told me there were bad for me, which I knew but having her care that they were bad for me was enough to make me stop.

Everything I am, everything I feel, it's all her. That's why I can't stop thinking about her, she's my whole fucking life. I've never had anyone like her and I don't want to, I want her.

I want her here, in my arms. I want to be enough for her.

She doesn't need me though, she has her parents, and her friends. She had people who love her, but she's all I have.

Fuck I can't do this, I don't know how I'm gonna make it through this week without her and then a another week.

I stormed up the stairs to the boys dormitory's.

Swinging my door open- Ian, my roommate sat on his bed, with a stack of papers and books out in front of him.

He lifted his head from his book, his eyes widening a little bit. He's still scared of me, it's fucking hilarious.

"You got a cigarette?" I asked closing the door behind me.

"No." He said.

I pulled my nightstand drawers open and dug around, please let there be an old pack in here... Nope, just socks, boxers, and condoms. Great. Not only are there not any cigarette but I'm reminded of Aurora again, yes by the condoms and yes I do feel like shit for thinking of her after seeing condoms. It's not even like we use them anymore she's on birth control.

I close my drawers and huff.

My mind still thinking of Aurora.

Shit!

She's on birth control. That's not the bad thing, the bad thing is she hasn't been able to take them. I think at least. It's not like while being kidnapped she was like 'wait let me get my birth control'