Star-Crossed

Part 42

When I arrive to class, I'm sweaty and out-of-breath. The door is closed, and I can hear the teacher lecturing. My heart is racing. If I open this door, everyone is going to be staring at me, and I am no-doubt going to be in trouble for being late.

I take a deep breath - in and out - and open the door.

The teacher stops talking and stares at me. Suddenly, I feel self-conscious about how sweaty I am. I'm so glad I decided to put on more deodorant.

"It's absolutely unacceptable to be late," says the woman who's teaching the class. "Let this be a warning. Next time, you'll be punished. Take a seat."

I sigh in relief. All of the seats are taken except for one in the front row, at the very center, so I slide into it, albeit unwillingly so.

"As I was saying," continues the teacher. "My name is Uma, and I teach newbies this beginning course on the art of mindfulness. I also teach the more advanced section for Senior Cadets titled Telepathic Power & Resistance."

"These two classes - Mindfulness 101 and Telepathic Power & Resistance are no doubt the most important set of classes you will take," she says.

"Now, of course I'm slightly biased," she adds.

A few people laugh. I begin to relax a little bit.

"In the Galactic Squad, we believe that controlling your mind is the key to success," she says. "If you have control over your mind, you can do anything."

She writes two words on the board - "Cravings" and "Aversions".

"How many of you feel like you experience the sensation of really wanting something and also the sensation of really wanting to reject something at least once everyday?" she asks.

A few people raise their hand and then Niko, sitting in the back, speaks up.

"I feel like I want stuff more often than I feel like rejecting stuff," he says, looking at me. My cheeks flush and I sink down into my seat.

"Interesting," Uma responds. "So you feel a sense of desire more often than a sense of repulsion."

"Yeah, I guess," answers Niko.

He keeps looking straight at me and then winks. Now, I start to burn with embarrassment.

"Do you ever have the sensation of wishing that a person would go away or stop talking or that a situation would end?" Uma asks Niko.

"Yeah, sometimes," he answers. "But, maybe I'm not always aware of it?"

"Great answer," beams Uma. "Awareness...the first step to achieving mindfulness."

She pauses for a moment and then continues.

"That is exactly what I'm going to teach you in this class," she adds. "How to be fully aware of everything that's happening at all times, how to be aware of everything that you're thinking at all times, how to be aware of reality as it is, not as you wish for it to be.

"Eventually, you will be able to choose how to respond to things, instead of just reacting to them, mindlessly, like an automaton," she continues. "I'll explain more through example, later. But for now, let's all take a moment to practice a very short meditation. Everyone, close your eyes - and keep them completely shut!"

I close my eyes.

"Now," says Uma. "Everyone take a deep breath in...and now, exhale a deep breath out."

I take as big of a breath as I can in and then out.

"Very good, class," Uma says. "These are the smallest and most important first steps in your journey toward mindfulness - closing your eyes, being aware of your breath and getting centered."