Junak Baruah wants to win the prestigious short film competition in his university. But with hundreds of participants and a stellar jury on board, winning means making a film that's never been made before.
And that means breaking the rules and taki...
These chapters have been hard to write, idk if I've been able to do justice to them.
Sigh.
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Junak's standard response to any emotional trouble was shutting down, his whole body going numb. It was his defence mechanism, in a way, to not feel the pain.
But that night, as he stumbled onto the bed with Dikhou, he felt everything. All the pain, the sorrow, the anger, the helplessness. He felt the excruciating ache in his chest and the ever-present sting of unshed tears in his eyes. He felt the frantic way his body reacted to Dikhou's, to his touches, to his kisses. He felt Dikhou's hands trembling against him, felt the brush of his eyelashes and the goosebumps along his skin.
They kissed slowly and deeply, kisses that said I'll miss you, I'll miss you, I'll miss you over and over again. The kisses whispered the words they could not say to each other: don't go, stay with me. Come, come with me, please.
It was grief and desire and goodbye.
"Jun." Dikhou's mouth was hot against Junak's chest. "Do you still want to have sex with me?"
"Y-Yes. Yes, Dikhou, yes."
It was gentle and slow and heavy and awkward at times, mingled with smiles and tears and sweet moans that they got drunk on. Dikhou was the focal point of Junak's entire universe and everything else faded to grey. Dikhou, who held Junak like he was something precious, someone deserving of love. There was so much tenderness laced with their want, Junak wondered if he could die from the sheer joy of it all.
Tears stained Junak's pillow by the time they were done but he was smiling against Dikhou's lips, breathing in lungsful of air together.
"Are you okay?" Dikhou's voice was hoarse and low.
"Y-Yes. Yes."
Dikhou fell on the bed beside him and collected him in his arms. With euphoria and the following exhaustion came the heavy lull of sleep.
And sleep was the last thing Junak wanted to do. Once they slept, the day would be over and he would wake up to an empty bed.
And leave.
He knotted his fingers in Dikhou's hair. "T-Talk to me."
Dikhou pulled Junak closed to his chest, the mess they'd made clinging to their skin, and whispered, "You... are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Junak closed his eyes against Dikhou's collarbone. "D-Don't say that."
"But it's true. I... I know it really hurts right now but I'm glad to have had this than nothing at all."
The grief spread from his chest, all the way down to his toes and fingertips. Junak wondered if it would be easier to claw out his heart altogether. "I wish things were easier."
