we are inevitable | jakehoon

six.

Midnight on December 31st is the one singular day of the year the entire world anticipates as a whole. Jake spends the day pacing through his tasks without really registering any of it; he's stuck in that panic space that always sets in when he knows something is about to happen, except just this time nothing seems to be effective in breaking him out of it.

Sunghoon asks him if he wants to meet tonight. Jake agrees, of course. There's nothing more romantic than standing beside your soulmate as the seconds tick down to midnight, waiting for your star in the sky to light up and finally, finally watching it set ablaze with the all the luminescence the universe above can muster because all it wants to tell you is you've found him, he's right there next to you, is there?

In all honesty, Jake is terrified. For all the beautiful ways tonight could go right, there are a hundred ways it could go wrong he can think of off the top of his head. The soulmate stars can make or break a relationship. He's heard the stories, everyone has.

Is it that he doesn't think Sunghoon is his soulmate?

Fifteen waking hours is not nearly enough time for him to ponder something like that. His only option is to suppress any thoughts in that direction as he wanders aimlessly through his day, too stressed to do anything yet too stressed to not be doing anything.

Sunghoon tells him he'll come over, which is rare since Jake's house is the one further away from their usual hangout spots. It also means Jake is left wearing down the carpet in his living room waiting when Sunghoon messages him to say he's left the house, because this time Jake doesn't have anywhere to rush to.

The doorbell rings at some point, ten minutes later that feel like thirty, and Jake breaks away from his pacing to step outside.

"Hi," Sunghoon says, offering his hand. He's dressed in monochrome shades of light brown, his signature style. "You've eaten, haven't you?"

"Hey." Jake accepts his hand, nodding. He's unsure if the two tiny chocolate animals he picked up before leaving the house really count as food, but in any case his stomach churns too much to keep down anything more. "Shall we go now?"

Heeseung has graduated from his party-host role along with graduating high school, and this year's New Year's Eve party is thrown by one of their cohort's very own rich kids, an American-born transfer student named Jay. He's one of the popular ones, as expected of someone of his calibre and background and quality of visual, but perhaps one of the only ones who deserves the position. Sunghoon has crossed paths with him a couple of times during student council duties, and he's only ever been helpful and generous with his time, and surprisingly humble about his status.

"Let's go to Jay's party," he says. Jay's family estate, like Heeseung's, is towards the edge of the city, where houses are built further apart on larger plots of land than the suburbs can afford. The decor is black and white, sleek and modern, at least four stories high and packed with people. Rumor had it that the house was renovated entirely from scratch when his family moved back to Korea a year ago, which explained the chic, clean design style both exterior and interior.

"Hey Sunghoon!" Jay heads over, clad in a sleek all-black outfit with a bottle in his hand. "You guys enjoying the party?"

"Absolutely! You have a beautiful house," Sunghoon returns, smiling and returning the hug, and Jay laughs.

"Not really mine, but thank you for the compliments, I'll let my dad know," he says. "You guys wanna head up to the penthouse? There's a better view there, people are gathering before midnight."

"Oh, great! Thanks for letting us know!"

"I'll see you around!"

The two of them head up the stairs to the open penthouse level, and Jake remembers suddenly that he'd heard that Jay's boyfriend was in the year below them. He wonders how the soulmate thing would work.

A large moving image is projected on a white wall, a countdown timer, 11:59:38, 11:59:39, 11:59:40. The people around pick up a chant as the seconds near midnight.

"Ten!"

Jake feels Sunghoon's grip tighten around his hand.

"Sunghoon, are you nervous?"

"Nine, 8, 7..."

"I don't know, should I be?"

"Six, 5, 4..."

"No reason to be, I suppose. It's inevitable."

"Three, two, one!

A cheer goes up as party streamers are popped all around, scattering confetti in gold and silver and all the colors Jake could ever imagine over their heads, raining down like winter snow.

It's as if a blanket settles over the rest of the sky. Every single star in the faraway distance fades in its glow, as if they settle into the background to pave the way for the one. His star shines at moderate brightness, not dim, not bright, just there. He traces the golden string as it runs from his last finger on his left hand up into the expanse of sky, disappearing from his sight somewhere along the way as the roof glowing lighting disrupts its path.

The boy standing next to him looks down at his empty hands as the night ticks past twelve and the new day opens up before them.

Sunghoon's eyes are blank. For all the eleven years Jake has known him, his expression has never been as unreadable as it is now.

"Sunghoon?"

He doesn't know what kind of answer he expects. He almost wants to hope for no answer at all, because he doesn't know what he's supposed to say in return.

Sunghoon drops the hand in front of his face. "I'm unassigned," he says slowly. "Jake, I don't have a soulmate."

It's funny how one sentence can convey so many things he didn't have the heart to voice aloud. Jake, I don't have a soulmate.

I'm not your soulmate. I'm not who you were destined to find.

We were never meant to be together.

They walk home together as one in the morning passes them by. Sunghoon doesn't say anything as they stop in front of Jake's house; he holds on to the older boy's hand for just a second longer before he lets go, and he walks on without looking back.