When the sun stroked my cheek tenderly, I slowly woke up, feeling the warmth of a pair of arms around me. In my half-dreaming state, I imagined it was Woozi holding me close, and a contented smile spread across my face. His gentle presence always made me feel safe and cherished. However, as I opened my eyes fully, reality sank in, and the smile vanished. It wasn't Woozi; it was Mingyu.
A pout appeared on my lips, disappointment flooding through me. I didn't want cuddles from anyone but Woozi. Carefully, I slipped out of Mingyu's grip, making sure not to wake him, and quietly left the dorm. The dream-like warmth I had felt moments ago was replaced by a cold morning breeze that made me shiver. I longed for the comfort of Woozi's embrace, feeling a pang of sadness as I walked away.
The air was thick with malice as I approached, wearing nothing more than a worn-out t-shirt and faded shorts. The crowd's hostility hit me like a physical force, their words slicing through the air with razor-sharp precision. "SeungCheol should leave," one voice sneered, dripping with contempt. "He's dragging down the entire group." Another added venomously, "SeungCheol's voice ruins every song."
I felt each insult like a dagger to my heart, each syllable a fresh wound reopening old scars. The pain was palpable, unbearable. "SeungCheol is a disgrace," someone else spat, their voice laden with disgust. "He's lucky to even be here."
The words echoed in my mind, a relentless barrage of condemnation. I fought to hold back tears, to not let them see how deeply their words cut. With my head down, I pressed forward, navigating past the sea of hostility toward the sanctuary of Woozi's studio. Every step felt like an eternity, each insult etching itself into my consciousness, a painful reminder of my perceived inadequacies.
But through the haze of hurt, one thought remained clear: I had to keep moving forward, despite the weight of their cruelty dragging me down.
Looking down at my feet, I hid my face and slowly strolled to the back of the building to use the back entrance instead. I made my way toward the studio where Woozi was working.
I knocked on the door of his studio and heard a soft, "Come in." I slowly entered the room, observing Woozi's surprised face. It was unusual for me to wake up this early, and on top of that, I was crying. Woozi rose from his seat and walked towards me, opening his arms in a welcoming gesture. I couldn't hold back my tears and let out a sob into Woozi's chest as my breath quickened.
"Hyung, please calm down," Woozi said, leading me to the couch. I crawled into his lap, still crying and slipping into an anxiety attack. Woozi didn't sigh; he simply wrapped his arms around me and rocked me, humming a soothing tune.
I hadn't realized that I had brought the panda with me until I felt Woozi gently take it out of my hands and place it somewhere close by.
"Cheollie, what's wrong?" he asked, dropping the honorifics. I looked up and began to explain everything to him, going into the smallest details. Woozi nodded his head while one hand rested on my cheek, wiping away the tears that still trickled down, and the other hand rubbed my back gently.
"Baby, don't listen to them. You're the best leader and an extremely handsome butterfly," he said, suddenly rubbing his nose against mine, making me giggle and feel a lot better. I cuddled against him and let out a sigh while grinning widely. Woozi might be small, but he has the biggest heart out of all of us. He might not always show it, but we know that he cares deeply about us.
Woozi held me close as he stood up again and went back to his work chair. He didn't let go of me as he worked on the music. I wouldn't have thought he'd be a little when seeing this. He's more like a caregiver—a daddy, to put it like that. I started to drift off slowly. However, before I fell asleep, I gave him a peck on the cheek, surprising him and making him smile. I closed my eyes and finally fell asleep.
I slept peacefully, even if my subconscious mind wanted answers to the questions that my conscious mind had put aside. They couldn't be answered as I couldn't and didn't want to believe that I was a little too. If I was, then I'd be happy to let no one know, even if it meant that Woozi would get all the attention.
When I woke up, I felt Woozi's arms around me, his chest softly rising and lowering. I looked up to see he had fallen asleep, and I giggled softly. I calmly sat there until he woke up.
As soon as he woke up, he asked, "Baby, why didn't you wake me?" His sleepy voice came through as he looked at me. I felt my cheeks warm up. I could only get out a word; the only noise that came out was babbling. I was confused. I was an adult, and I couldn't talk. Woozi noticed that I seemed confused and wasn't talking. He smiled softly and looked at me.
"Hyung, it's okay," he said softly as he patted my head gently. I felt at peace when he held me and cradled me like a baby. It felt safe with him. He felt a lot like a father figure. I was happy with it.
"Hyung, would you want to know if you're a little?" Woozi asked suddenly. I was surprised by it, but it is a good idea. I could calm my mind and the questions I had. I nodded my head at the end of my train of thoughts, looking at him.
After about an hour of explaining and checking things off a list, I realized that I was a little. Was I happy? Not really. Was I sad or disappointed? I couldn't pinpoint how I felt about this conclusion as I didn't want people to know. However, that was out the window as Woozi already knew, and so did Jeonghan when he walked into the room.
"Can I still be a leader?" I asked hesitantly, looking at the others who seemed surprised that Woozi held me closer.
"Of course, Hyung, don't worry. Having a little space is a healthy mechanism. Besides, we wouldn't want to lose our leader," Woozi said as he held me close. I smiled as he cuddled me. I still didn't know how to feel, but I just sat in Woozi's chest, which felt safe to me.
I looked up slowly, meeting Woozi's eyes, and smiled as I snuggled my face into his neck. I heard Jeonghan coo at both of us, perhaps filming the moment.
After Woozi tapped on my shoulder, I looked up. However, I was met with something between my lips. I was surprised as the item between my lips was oddly relaxing to me, and it made me feel even smaller. I only clung closer to Woozi, sucking on the thing between my lips and slowly closing my eyes.
"Baby, don't you want to go home?" Jeonghan asked softly, holding his arms open, hoping I'd go home with him. I let out a whine and clung onto Woozi tighter as I just wanted to stay in Woozi's chest. I closed my eyes, hiding my face in Woozi's neck again, and slowly fell asleep.
Woozi suddenly stood up, still holding me close, and began to walk. I was more than confused. However, when I tried to talk, nothing but babbles came out of my mouth. Woozi rubbed my back. I saw the floor change into the pavement, and that changed into a soft material. When I looked around, I saw we were in a car driving through the streets.
