TW: SELF HARM
After hastily finishing my pancakes, I fled to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I collapsed onto the bed, my heart racing, when my phone began to vibrate relentlessly. My throat tightened as I hesitated, then forced myself to look at the screen. Notifications flooded in, tagging me and Seventeen's official account on everything, including X. My pulse quickened with each ping, a gnawing dread settling in my stomach.
And then suddenly news channels were added into the mix. I dared to press on one of them to see that Hybe had made a statement:
"Hello, this is Hybe Corporation.
We regret to inform you that Seventeen's S.COUPS will be taking an indefinite hiatus. This decision prioritizes his health and well-being, and we sincerely apologize to all fans who have shown continued love and support for SEVENTEEN. We are committed to ensuring the best care for our artists.
Thank you for your understanding.
Sincerely,
Hybe Corporation."
As I read those words. Thoughts raced through my mind—why did this happen? Fear gripped my chest, imagining the worst scenarios. I didn't want to step away from the spotlight indefinitely. It felt surreal, like a nightmare unfolding in front of me. The once joyous morning now felt heavy with worry and uncertainty.
Sitting there, staring at my phone, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of loss. Not only was I stepping away from the stage, but I was also leaving behind the team, the fans, and the music that had been my life for so long. The uncertainty of my return loomed over me like a dark cloud.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing thoughts. Maybe this break was what I needed to get back on track. My health had been deteriorating, both mentally and physically, under the relentless pressure. Perhaps this was an opportunity to find myself again, to heal and come back stronger.
No, it wasn't what I needed nor wanted. I'd be alone and stay behind just like a few years ago. I didn't want to be alone and have to catch up again. The nauseous feeling returned, more intense this time. I swallowed hard, trying to keep it down as I stared at the floor. My hands were shaking and clammy as I tried to calm myself, but it felt like the world was spinning out of control.
