Captain Swan: Until I Met You. (Once Upon A Time)

Chapter 29. "The Past Only Has Lessons"

{Emma's POV}
-now you believe me? - i said

-i never said i didn't- killain smirked

-for real killian- i said stopping my giggles

-what do you want to really know swan- he aks

-what's really going on with the subject of your mother-

-which part of it?- he aks

-everything- i say

-alright alright you win- he sighs and starts talking -this is basically it, i've lied this entire time, my parents didn't leave us well my father did but my mother she used to drink a lot, too much actually one time she started yelling at me and liam for not support her or something like that, everyday it kept getting worst until finally she started... hitting me and liam couldn't do anything because if he did she would lock him a bathroom or didn't let him spend the night in-

oh my god i was speachless i didn't know any of this -didn't you tell anybody or do anything?-

-tell who? we didn't have anyone- he looks down and stops before continuing -until one day we got sick of it, we escaped liam and i and leaved her-

-Killian that is awful, you should've told me this doesn't make you weak it mades you stronger- i said smiling at him

- i got drunk because it was her birthday, i got nightmares, flashbacks of times after that in where was sobbing basically crying herself at sleep because she missed us or needed us that's why i broke our promise. i couldn't with the guilt anymore-

-guilt? killian she used to hit you, and yes she's still your mother but by obligation no mother would ever do that to a person like that and mostly her son. you don't have to feel guilt or pain , i'm here for you now okay-

-i know, but what if she went to look for us, or regret what she did to us. We leaved withoug even saying goodbye-

-What if she didn't? we will never know though so have to live as you have been living. no pain from the past only lessons remember-

-aye, i'm not the man i used to be neither-

-exactly, now changing the subject i gotta go to work actual work, see you later?- i said standing up quickly before taking my coat and started to leave

-off course- he said with a smirk and is the only thing i see before leaving

i don't what is this, what me and killian have. Am i ready? i can't kept my self but wonder i'm all in for it but truly? Is this going anywhere more than kisses and games? is this really worth it? questions and more questions are the only thing i can think about right now. killian has show me how is to fall in love again risking all after thousands of losts, he has been alone and has feel pain, true real pain and so have i yes but and even though i may not be total ready for this relationship i'm not going to let him down, i'm going to do this for him because i care too much to not do it.
and yes at fist i may not be starting this for me totally, but i do want this, truly, only time will tell when i am actually going to accept my feelings and for the last words i pretend finding it out with killian.