What did I do?

Chapter two

He should have known, he really should have. Who was he to think he would be able to deceive the oh great Sugawara.

Long story short, the following morning the sickness hadn't left, yet he decided to try his luck and go to practice. He's been a horrible liar when it came to thing like this since he was little so it was pure stupidity thinking no one would be able to tell he was sick.

Soooo... he was stuck in bed. Again...

The world hates him, doesn't it.

(He knows he's lucky to have a roof over his head and a monthly allowance, but that won't stop him from wishing someone would be there for him. Like, really there. Through thick and thin. Somebody who saw him at his worst yet remained by his side. God, he wished he had someone like that.)

He has counted the little star stickers on his ceiling for like five times now and each time he has come up with different numbers. Therefore, he'll recount them and maybe he'll finally have a tiebreaker and know how many there are.

(Does it count as knowing or assuming if he's not really sure? But he won't allow himself to count them again. He'll save at least some of his pride.)

The air in his room is stuffy and he has enough knowledge to open the window and let the cool breeze hit his face.

(Nobody has to know he has been postponing getting up from his bed for an hour and the push he needed was going to the bathroom. You don't either.)

As he's waddling to the bathroom in his soft and fluffy blankets(kinda like a penguin if you think about it), the light turned off, he's starting to feel grateful Sugawara sent him home. How can his headache be even worse than yesterday? Isn't rest supposed to help you?

It seemed to do the opposite for him every single time.

(He thought about it once.

Rest doesn't do him any good since he's usually distracting himself by working his body dry. That tends to also keep the nightmares at bay since he doesn't really sleep. Passing out is the more accurate term.

By allowing his body to have a good rest, he's letting his mind catch up on all the fucked up things it can make up. It's not a pleasant experience, trust him. It gets worse when he thinks about it.

He hasn't gone back and thought on it once he realized.)

He's sitting at the table now. He doesn't even remember leaving the bathroom so how did he get here!

There's a bowl of instant ramen in his left hand, with the chopsticks in right. He doesn't remember preparing it, but he isn't in the place to complain when the hunger hits him square in the face once the smell reaches his nose.(That's dangerous! He can burn the house down when following a tutorial so how the hell was he able to prepare the dish without really being conscious. There but not really.)

He digs in.

And that was a horrible idea! He burned his tongue. He should be more careful, he isn't eleven anymore.

(Sometimes he feels like a kid. Who knows, maybe it's because he didn't really have a childhood and his brain is trying to catch up but he hates feeling like a little child.)

The couch is soft and he almost fell asleep once his back hit the pillows, but the movement didn't do his headache any favor. He decides to ignore it and lets his tiredness guide him in a peaceful slumber.

(That's a lie.

He had a nightmare and he can't even remember what scared him so much.

Kinda pathetic don't you think?)

He shouldn't have slept in the first place. He only got one hour of rest(if you can even call it that) and now he feels even worse than before. What's the logic behind that!

He thinks he'll have a better chance at getting his well deserved rest if he'll reach his comfortable and warm bed, so up he goes so he can go upstairs.

He tripped halfway and maybe got some scratches on his knees, but often times details tend to be useless.

(He likes to have some constant pain in his daily life anyways. It helps to keep him attached to the rest of the world.

Nobody wants a reenacting of the time somebody almost drove over him since he was on autopilot.)

He swears to God that if the sickness will still be haunting him tomorrow, he'll take a dive of the nearest roof.

(No he won't.

He has already decided that if he'll kill himself it would have to be either painless and not traumatize some poor civilian.

He hasn't had the courage to start planning, anyway.)

It takes some time, but with the sleepiness already there, he quickly falls asleep.

(He dreams for once. Good dreams.

He's with the team and they're having fun. It doesn't matter if they're not winning or the best. They're doing the one thing that makes all of them happy and that's all that matters.

He wouldn't trade moments like those for anything.

He loves watching Kageyama try to seem indifferent even if the whole team knows he's happy inside.

He loves how Yamaguchi worries over Tsukishima over the smallest reasons.

He loves knowing Sugawara and Daichi care for the well-being of the team, even if that's the reason he was stuck at home.

He loves them with his whole-being.

He thinks he'll be destroyed if they ever decide he isn't worthy of their love anymore.

It might be his last straw.

But they would never...

Right?)

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I think this rewrite will go a completely different way than originally intended, but we'll see. I also can't promise a happy ending so don't get your hopes up(it'll most likely be a fullfilling but sad ending, no guarantees.)

I promise next chapter will feature the team, for sure.

Opinions are fully welcomed! Have a wonderful day or night!