CRACKS IN THE MOLD

Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Time moves at godspeed. In what feels like a few hours, it's already the weekend. It's quite unusual but I chalk it up to my pending transfer to my apartment. Tonight might just be my last night here. Immediately after dance class, I'll move my belongings to the apartment.

I have one last thing to do here. I tiptoe to the shrine that used to be my father's office. It hasn't changed much since he died, even the calendar on his table is from seven years ago.

Only a handful of times have I been here after his death. My goal this evening is to get keepsakes, things to remember him by.
Starting from his table, I work my through the room. Two hours later, I have with me a picture of he and I, a picture of three of us, his name stamp and a pink keyholder I gave him on his last birthday. Surprisingly, his wedding ring is in one of the drawers.
The last drawer on his table is full of papers; documents, attestations, birth certificates - mine included. I reach out and take mine and as I close the drawer, it jostles the papers revealing a manila envelope. It is one of those moments, like watching a car crash. I instantly get the feeling I won't like the content.

I  was right, I don't like the content. It had about fifty opened letters in it. Reading the first letter confirmed my suspicion of what it was. Knowing what I knew, I shouldn't have been surprised but I still was. I take the envelope with me. There is no reason why it should remain here for my mom to find.
As I walk to my  room, I wonder where I've seen that handwriting before. I can swear I have seen it before.

Most of my things are already packed in boxes concealed in my closet. The only things left lying around are my phone, laptop and a few school books. These will go in my backpack.
S*** !!! I forgot about my things in the bathroom.

I find an empty box for the things I just collected from my dad's office and my cosmetic bag. After carefully placing them, I seal the box and  label it.

I still haven't decided if I'll leave my other car at my mom's or not. Either way, those are tomorrow's problems. Today me needs to sleep, so I do...for four long hours. I must have been very tired, because after the nightmare interlude at 2:45am, I succeed to fall asleep again.

My alarm wakes me up at 6:30am but I don't leave the bed until 7:00am. Saying goodbye to my room is hard. It has been mine forever.
After freshening up, I follow the trail of a lovely aroma into the kitchen. My mom was at the counter.
"Hmmm...smells delicious in here."

"Yeah... Decided to make something special for your send-off."

"Thanks Mom."
"I'll load the boxes into the car while you finish making breakfast."

"Okay. Call if you need help with anything."

Breakfast was calm and quite terse.
She had tears in her eyes as she walked me to my car.

"I'll be back later today to get my car...my other car."
"And mom, I love you. Always. Remember that."

I give her a long reassuring hug before driving off.
I arrive five minutes late for the class.
Quickly finding a spot, I join in the stretching exercises. After the usual stretches, he proceeds to more advanced stretches for twenty minutes.

I can tell something is up from the way he keeps looking at Angel for assurance. It is usually the other way round, Angel looking to Glenn for assurance.
Confirmation comes when he gathers us after the stretching. He looks quite nervous... here's a first.

"So... I have some news. Your group of dancers is a special one in more than one way. Yesterday one more distinguishing factor was added. "

Figuratively we were at the edge our seats waiting to hear what he had to say. He sensed our anticipation and hurried on.

"Any of you ever heard of the 'Dance Away' competition?"

"Yeah...it's only the biggest dance competition in this state." Five answers with a sarcastic eyeroll.

Angel chuckles at her answer as Glenn continues.

"This year, in celebration of their ten year anniversary, they are creating a wildcard spot. It is open to dance groups which do not belong to a studio. We have received an invitation to audition for wildcard spot. If we accept the invitation, we will be competing against four other groups in a ten person dance. "

Glenn pauses there, allowing us to soak in the information before continuing.

"I know this is not what you signed up for but I think it's a great opportunity. If up to ten dancers are in support, we will accept the invitation. Classes will continue as scheduled if we choose not to accept."

I already knew which side I was leaning towards. Watching the other dancer's expressions, I saw a rainbow of emotions; denial, excitement, confusion, among others. Before I could dissect further, Glenn spoke up again.

"Those in favor, indicate by a show of the hand."
Fifteen of us were in favor, not counting Angel.

"It's settled then, 'Dance Away' here we come."

The room comes alive with excitement as we surf the rules on their official website. We are so ready for this.

"As stated on the website, the auditions are slated for Saturday. We have a week to prepare. Go home, let it sink in. Tuesday and Friday will be dedicated to producing and perfecting the audition piece. Class dismissed."

Within a few minutes, the room is empty except for five people, two of whom are preparing to leave. Glenn, Angel and I are left.

" 'Class dismissed', really Glenn?"
Glenn's response is a loud laugh.
"You aren't leaving yet?" Angel asks me from across the room.

"Not yet. I want to use the rest of the class time to ...you know...dance."

Glenn connects his phone to the speakers. As the music blasts, we freestyle individually. Before long we are dancing together; all three of us, Glenn and Angel, Angel and I, Glenn and I. One minute we are having fun practicing previously learned techniques and the next minute I'm stand between them,with my back to Angel and my front to Glenn, it feels very intense. I'm probably just delusional, I mean, intense is the definition of a sensual dance class.  We keep at it until the music is cut by Glenn's phone ringing. He disconnects the Bluetooth and goes out to take the call.  Angel and I sink to the floor breathing heavily.

"Angel we've got to leave now." Glenn says upon entering.
Without shifting his eyes from mine  he answers "Go on ahead. I'll be here a little longer."
"Okay then...bye."
"Bye"
"Bye"
Angel and I respond together.

He stretches out his hand to take mine and I roll into his arms. I don't how long we stayed that way. Eventually, we got off the floor and gathered our affairs. Despite the fact that I have my shoes this time, Angel insisted on giving me a piggy back ride to my car.
That led to him seeing the boxes in my car, which led him to ask questions...

In conclusion, he and I just finished unpacking the last box that was in my car. I'm about to fix us a late lunch. As I spend more time with him, I realise how easy he is to get along with.

After lunch we relax a bit. Taking the motorcycle, I drop him off at the bus station.

My next stop is my mom's, to get my car. I arrive faster than I usually do with the car. I find her lounging in the pool, eyes closed. She looks so peaceful so I don't disturb her.
I'm pretty light on my feet yet she senses my presence and stirs. Leaving the pool behind, she towel dries her hair as she walks towards the house.

She trades her swimsuit for dry clothes.  We then proceed to curl on the couch and watch TV, ignoring the elephant in the room for a couple off hours.

As night falls, I get ready to leave. Maneuvering my motorcycle into the boot of my car was tricky but I succeeded. No hugs this time, my mom only waves at me as I leave; typical distancing behavior.

With this drive, I enter into the chaotic world of adulthood and Independence. Hopefully, it has good things in store for me.