The Traveler Mind

Part 3 : A Thinker

"Its Autumn Sunday hue
With a cup of coffee, I color my painting with blue
In remembrance of me and you"

There is a battle that has long been lost, the battle is only within her. She would like to put it into a poem or a piece of paper, pen in her hand, but she comes up with completely empty again. She wants to write a poem or a short story so that she can put an end to her misery  and put a line under it. She tries to create a Johatsu within herself so that she can simply forgive, forget, remove and erase old stuff in her head and start as a new Her.

The battle against mental illness is not new in this modern world, perhaps due to too much gadget or sugar or perhaps less self-esteem. Or maybe it's just a way of life, we need something to break us, so that we can find out who we are on the inside. Just like we need to break the shell, in order to enjoy the egg. The evolution of human gene. 

God is always strange! He works according to his schedule. He does not care if we are ready, and when we do, it's always too late for us. He always has his own timing, and we have remained hesitant between the opportunity we have been given.

"I am leaving tomorrow and will be back next week. So you will have plenty of time to pack. I hope you find a place to stay before I get back." She watched Josh as he added some project documents to his files. 

He has already prepared his luggage and left it near the entrance of their small apartment for the early morning flight. She does not ask and does not want to know how he will get to the airport. All she knows is that she has to give the doorman the key to the apartment as soon as she has left.

"Sure." She continues to watch the news; it's not that she's interested in what's going on in the world. It's just that she does not know how to react to what happening in her little world. Everything does not seem to be going according to her plan.

She already knew and suspect that this would be coming, but she never thought it was too soon. They have only known each other for 4 months and everything seems nice and sweet. Thou there are time that she does not agree with his opinion, but they manage to work it out or they just pretend nothing happened and move on. 

She has a certain amount of money in her savings account, enough to rent a new apartment for a few months, but that's not what she wants. She had enough with everything, especially something out of sudden and beyond her control.

Its feels like a deja vu, she told herself; she'd had the same experience with Matt, her previous partner. Now it's happening again with Josh, she's tried to play a different role as girlfriend, more understanding, less arguing, accepting what he says and bla bla bla.... but yup, it's not working. There she is again. Alone.

Whatever it is, she doesn't want to waste this beautiful nature just thinking about Josh. She's packed her daily hiking bag for Hooker Valley track, stowing her belongings in the car, leaving only the flysheet and hoping it will still be there when she gets back. It's only a few hours and off she go.

She looks at her watch and it says 5.10am, the sun is already up and the view is soo beautiful that she stops at the first check point Lake Muller Lookout to enjoy the surrounding view. From there she can see a glacial lake and of course the famous bridge that features in the Lord of The Rings films and can be seen from afar.