pretty flower | 강새벽

010

I lay in bed, wide awake all night. My mind racing with thousands of thoughts all at the same time. 

"So if she's not your girlfriend, but she's unavailable, what does that make you? Like what is your relationship with her? And why are you so worried?" 

Why was I so worried about her?  She helped me in Red Light, Green Light, so what? It doesn't mean anything. 

Right? 

I sit up in bed, looking around the quiet room. How can people be sleeping during a time like this? I get out of bed, walking around the room silently without making a sound, headed towards the front of the room where the masked men entered. 

"What on earth are you guys hiding?" I whisper, inspecting the door. "What am I doing? Inspecting this door isn't going to solve anything. Sun-Hi, get yourself together and deal with your problems!" 

I smack myself against the side of the head a couple of times, hurting a bit more each time. 

"Sun-Hi? What are you doing?" I hear someone from behind me, causing me to turn around quickly, karate-chopping the air in front of me. "Hey, you're fine. Don't worry." 

The figure stepped closer. 

It was Sae-Byeok. 

"Why are you up?" I ask her, turning away in embarrassment. 

"Couldn't sleep. You?" she responds, sitting down next to my feet.

"Same. I just have a lot on my mind." I sit down next to her, leaving a decent amount of space between us. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she moves closer to me. 

"Not really. It's too much to process." I move away again. 

"It might help to talk about it, you know." she moves closer again, this time grabbing my hand and pulling me close to her. 

"Talking has never done me any good."

"That was the past. And that was with people who didn't really care." 

"Are you saying you care? You don't even know me." 

"True. But I know enough about you to make me want to care. I know how your dad is an asshole and you want to protect your siblings. I know that you are smart and gorgeous. I know that when you get nervous, you try to get away or you freeze. I know that you look amazing in green. I know how every time you get mad, people become scared of you because you keep up a wall so no one can get in. You keep up the wall so you can't get hurt." she looks at me directly in the eyes "And I know that you're scared of all types of shit the world is going to throw at you. Your life hasn't even started and yet you've gone through so much. And Sun-Hi, I admire you for all of that." 

I stare at her, not knowing what to say. 

Anyone would say that. She just caught you slapping yourself! 

"Why would you admire me? I'm just a screwed-up kid." I pull my hand away from her, standing up and walking away.

"I admire you because although you haven't had it easy, you still keep strong. You stay hopeful. I admire you because you have your own view of life. I admire you because you are different." she grabs my wrist, pulling me towards her into a hug. "I admire you for not letting the world turn you into a terrible person." 

"Who's to say that I'm not a terrible person?" I try to push her away, but she only holds tighter "You know things about me. You don't know me." 

"Then let me get to know you. The real you." she pulls me away from her, her arms still on my shoulders and her still looking down at me. "I want to know you." 

I stay silent, watching her eyes as she stares at me with curiosity. She removes her hands from my shoulders, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear before placing a hand on my cheek, her eyes fixating on me. 

"But if you get you get to know me, you'll get attached. And if you get attached, it'll hurt more for both of us if something happens." I peel my eyes away from her. 

"But I already know too much to let you go that easy." She smiles, grabbing my chin and pulling my face closer to hers. As I get closer, my breath hitches. My body felt numb and ecstatic. She was so close to me, I swear I could hear her heartbeat. 

Wait - Nevermind, that's my own heartbeat...

"But I don't want to scare you away with all my problems," I say quietly, still getting closer to her.

"As I said, I already know too much to let you go. There is nothing you could say that could scare me." 

"Even if I told you I was a serial killer?" 

"If you were a serial killer, I'd just find you that much hotter" She smirks. 

Our faces were inches away now, she was so close to me. I knew that when she was near me or when she touched me, whether accidentally or purposely, I felt different. But she was so close to me now, I couldn't even think straight. 

Without hesitation, I pushed myself closer to her, our lips connecting. Her hand remained put on my cheek as the other arm snaked its way around my waist, pulling me closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her neck, my hands hiding in her hair. All my senses were gone. She was the only thing I could think about. She was the only thing I felt. She was the only person who existed at this moment. 

I pulled away from her, panting.

"It's too bad I'm not a serial killer then." I smile, watching her face change from the blank expressionless person I had seen so often, to a softer, more caring look. 

"Serial killer or not. You're still just as hot," she smirks.

I smile again. She was perfect. Even though this world was messed up and we were all screwed over at one point, she was better than anything else this world could provide. 

"We should get some rest. We don't know what time we'll be getting up tomorrow," she grabs my hand and starts pulling me behind her. 

"Where are we going? My bed is that way." I point towards my bed but she ignores me. 

"That's nice. This is my bed." She stops, picking me up and tossing me onto her bed. I squeal, causing me to cover my mouth quickly in embarrassment. I look back at Sae-Byeok to see her with a single finger on her lips as she climbs up onto the bed with me. 

"Stay quiet okay?" she says, tucking hair behind my ear again before laying down. I nod my head and lay down next to her as she wraps her arms around me. 

"You're mine." She whispers into my ears, causing me to replay them in my head until I fell asleep. 

And you're mine.

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Word Count: 1179