We went down stairs and found all the videos we had of him and played it on the Tv down stairs laughing. We had videos from Santa Monica, Venice, the beach, playing poker in the hospital, Halloween, our birthdays, everything. My mom even recorded him and how many cups of pudding he had in the hospital. He was sitting in the chair putting all over his face laughing. He used to nag me to stop with the pictures and videos but for once im happy I didn't listen. After we went upstairs I finally wanted to open the letter. It made me nervous the more I opened the envelope.
" You know I looked up the definition of Winafried. It meant joy or peaceful, yet you are one of the least peaceful people I have ever met. The other day you asked me why I didn't want to write your eulogy, well its because I knew you wouldn't need it. I know I promised to stay but I can't. There was so much going on with me that I didn't want to tell you and it wasn't just depression it was a lot of other things. I know you wanted to help and you did. You made me stay longer than anyone else could have, you led me out of the darkness and showed me what a good time was. I've had more fun with you then i've had in a lifetime and it was all because of you. I know you're sad but you better not stop eating or go back to laying in bed all day! I don't want you to be sad or be depressed because I'm gone. I don't want you to miss out on things or wonder what you could have or should have done. It was gonna happen eventually I just didn't want to tell you when. See, you didn't leave when I pushed you away, you stayed, and that's more than most do. You know you remind me of Boo more than you think. But everything has to end just like the movie when Sully had to go away. It was the end of the movie for them, just like now it's the end for us, but not for you. You tend to shut people out when you're hurt and I don't blame you, but you can't keep closing your heart to the things you don't want to feel. I know it hurts but don't stay sad for too long, it's not worth it, we had too much fun for you to stay sad. I'm sorry, I don't want to leave you, but I can't stay either. We had so much fun and played so many games. Even playing hide and seek in the mall gave me a lifetime of fun, even though you drove me crazy. And your fear of forgetting, trust me im, impossible to forget and if you do i'll be a ghost and be like Noah from the notebook and tell you all our stories and adventures. I may be gone physically but trust me i'm not leaving completely. Take care of my hoodie and camera, use it for adventures we would normally go on together, and take care of yourself, you deserve to be happy. I'm gonna miss you, even you taking off and giving me anxiety or the little things like watching the stupid sunset while being bored out of my mind. I never thought I would miss that. I'm gonna miss you bossing me around and you making me watch movies or telling me about some fictional guy I could care less about, which by the way STOP FALLING IN LOVE WITH THEM! But through the craziness, and the slushie addiction you were a good sister to me. Everyone gets an infinity and I'm grateful for ours. I love you, don't forget it you crazy little drunk.
Love you
-Cruz AKA CHILD"
I started crying but felt relief. I saved the letter and stayed in my room wearing his hoodie. I missed him an awful lot and now, I still don't know what to do.
The next week I had to go to school with everyone staring at me or pointing hearing ''Sad her best friend died" and other things like that. Even teachers gave me a sorry look. Kennedy has been back but when she saw me she seemed like she wanted to cry. Some teachers were nice to talk to me outside of class and said if I ever needed anything I could always talk to them but if Cruz was here he would tell me to have them give me extensions on school work and excuse me from some stuff. Which I did. There were quite a few people who apologized for my loss and I appreciated it but it made me feel worse. It made me keep thinking of him when I was just trying to get through one day without feeling pain. Eventually Kennedy came to talk to me. "Hey how you been" She asked nervously
"I've been alright" I told her not really in the mood to talk.
"That's good....did he,.. did he say anything about me or leave me anything? We're pretty close still and talked so did he leave me anything?" She questioned hoping for something. She was really clingy with him. Cruz was nice to her and sure they still talked off and on but she was known to exaggerate.
"I don't know I wasn't given anything" I lied so she doesn't feel bad.
"Oh well I at least got a text then" she then responded
"Oh ok then you did get something" I told her walking out of the bathroom
"Ya but you know I wish we got to go out and do things together" I just nodded but started zoning out as she talked I couldn't focus anymore I felt too emotionally drained and I could feel the pain coming back. I told her I had to go and left for the rest of the day. I started driving home but pulled into the gas station parking lot sitting there. I remembered how many times we pulled up for snacks remembering our conversations and the messes we would make in the car from throwing food at each other. I walked in and grabbed 2 slushies and drove all the way down to the cemetery, a 30 minute drive. I pulled up and sat in my car for a bit till I got out and walked over to his grave. I set the slushie down next to his grave stone and sat there drinking mine. I just sat and leaned on the grave for a minute.
"Well Kennedy is still obsessed a little and teachers gave me a brake" I talked
"Even Brad gave me a sorry look when I ate alone at lunch" I giggled
I talked out loud like he was still listening. Everytime I close my eyes I saw everything replay in my head of the night it all happened.
"You know I think some people are born just to fix people or make others happy,...I don't know if that was your job but you did a pretty damn good job at making me laugh all the time...i'm not gonna sit here and be all sad because there's no point, it can't make you come back, I just want to stay though, just to watch the sun go down one more time with you while having one more slushie. I'm not a big believer in heaven or hell but I gotta tell myself you're somewhere I could still talk to you and I hope it's somewhere you could listen. I'm gonna miss you Cruz....you were a good best friend and an even more amazing brother" I said. After that I felt relieved and just sat there watching the sky turn orange. I thought of all our memories while sitting there. I could still hear his laugh. His stupid laugh as he always ate all the food from the pantry. I could hear him screaming to his favorite songs on the way to the beach or chasing after me in the mall. I could hear him telling me we were having a ditch day or even calling my name. I remembered the first day I met him. The only reason he talked to me was over a stupid car. I stayed even till I could see all the stars like how we did in the field. I didn't want to leave but I had to get back. "Goodnight Cruz...see you toma-" I stopped mid sentence.
"Ill see you later" I said walking back to my car. I drove home and Death Bed came on the radio. I took it as a sign that he's ok and that maybe he's not in pain anymore or maybe hes happier where he is. From then on I would go visit whenever I felt like it even if it was just to go read a book for a little bit with him. I would bring a slushie and sit out and slowly the pain got a little easier not because I was forgetting but because I knew I had to let go but remember all the good times. I learned that you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world but you do get a say in who hurts you, so you better make it worth it. Cruz was my best friend. He reminded me what it was to care and love, but with that, there always comes a bit of pain. It's how we deal with the pain that's important and it's what happens after that's important. However our pain or past doesn't define us, and after everything Cruz has taught me, I'd say that's a pretty good impact to leave on someone's life.
YOU ARE READING
See You Tomorrow (Boy Best Friend)
Teen Fiction"See you tomorrow" it's like it was a promise. He was broken and had no one but so was she. They both hated people but somehow they didn't hate each other. After they met it changed their life forever, they did everything together. Until one night a...
