sparks

20

Dream

"Its so nice to be home" Sapnap smiles, curling up on his dorm bed.

I've always found it weird getting back here early from holidays. The place is always deserted, making me feel odd, considering all the hallways are normally at least half full with people at all times.

Its very dark outside. We're back late.

George and I barely spoke at all on the trip back, and I mean at all. I know Sap wants to ask why, but hes holding off.

He wouldn't even come near me. He sat next to Q, and I don't think he even looked in my direction once.

Is this how he wants things to be now?

Like they were before?

When, we scarcely even spoke to eachother?

It does hurt a little, I wont lie.

Okay, it hurts a lot, even if I wont admit that to myself.

The one thing I keep reminding myself is that hes doing this for me, for my sake, to protect my sanity.

If its what he wants, then let him have it.

But I don't understand why hes doing something for me that even I don't want.

My mind is scrambled, and has been running on the ends of a bottle of vodka and four hours of sleep all day.

"Yeah" I agree, realizing how long I've left Sapnap without an answer. "It is nice."

I dump my bags at the end of my bed, and slip off my sweater, pulling out some old shirt from the bottom of my wardrobe.

Sapnaps staring.

"What're you looking at?" I peer, the shirt still in hand, about to be pulled over my head.

"Just admiring my view" he grins back, winking at me.

I tug the shirt on, and toss my sweater at him.

"You're so dumb" I mutter, pulling on sweats.

"You love me for it" he retaliates, turning over on his side so that hes facing towards my bed.

I make sure the bedroom windows are locked, considering the wind and rain never left whilst we were away, and I make sure our radiator is on.

"Light on or off?" I ask Sap, pausing at the switch.

Its rare we have to ask this, but the lights stay on all around the clock when we're on holiday time.

"Off" he responds, pulling up his bedcovers.

I switch the light off, close the last little gap in the curtains by the window, and climb into bed.

After shuffling around for a minute, trying to get comfortable, I finally lay still.

The rain outside seems to drown the silent bedroom, but both Sap and I know neither of us are asleep, or will sleep.

I just wait patiently for his questions to come, because I know Sap, and I know what hes going to ask.

"Did you know?" is his first one.

About the marriage.

Hes still laying facing me, but I'm on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah" I answer, "I overheard an argument they were having. I connected the dots."

He doesnt say 'oh,' or anything of the sort, he just lays still, staring at me.