Pacing back and forth in the kitchen with my jacket in my hand waiting for Reese to arrive felt like an eternity, I can't believe we were leaving for London, England today. It all honestly just feels like a dream. Don't get me wrong, I'm nervous as hell for what this has in store for me but excited all at the same time. I could see my Mom glancing at me from the corner of my eye, so I turned around and said "what"? She had this weird sly grin on her face "Oh nothing really, I just can't believe my baby is leaving me" she was standing with her arms across her chest with tears swelling up in her eyes. "Oh Mom, don't get all sappy on me now". I said walking toward her and hugged her like it was going to be the last time I ever saw her; I knew it wasn't going to be, but I didn't know how long I'd stay in England.
I truly loved my Mom, we've never really had the typical Mother/Daughter relationship, we've had our share of fights and differences that's for sure, but maybe it was because whenever I brought up the idea of what my dreams were, she never acted like she supported me. I never felt like she or any of my family did until the other night while we were at dinner and I just spilled my heart out to her, or the fact that everytime I'd go to my Fathers every other weekend my sister would have her all to herself and when I'd get home and want to go somewhere with them or spend time with my Mom my younger sister forbid me to and my Mom just let her control everything. Maybe this internship and going to take me somewhere completely new and unknown. It was going to be good for me, in fact I knew it was.
It was going to be my time, for good things to actually happen to me for once. To get the life I'd always dreamed about and get away from all of the negative bullshit that surounded me.
Silence filled the room once again as I anxiously waited for Reese to get here and accidently blurted out "where the hell is she, we're supposed to leave in 25 minutes" knowing I had cursed outloud in front of my Mom, I felt my cheeks & ears get hot and flushed. "Paige, did you just say what I think you did" my Mom looking sheepishly at me. "Well I'm nervous and excited and it's not liked I've never cursed before" I replied. Hearing the doorbell ring, I ran and opened the door and screamed Hey, Reese! Not giving her a chance to even say Hello, I pulled her into a hug, I screamed so loud I probably woke some neighbors but I didn't care. We were leaving for London, England!
Okay girls, I better drive you to the airport now" my Mom said with a saddened voice. Walking towards my Mom I reached out to her and took her face in my hands Mom, this won't be the last time you see me, I'll be coming back but if this internship becomes a permanent deal, we'll figure out visiting/living arragements when we cross that bridge okay? Yes, sweetie.
Reese and I started carrying our suitcases to the car. So, do you know what's going to happen when we get there? Reese excitedly asked like a toddler in a candy store. All I know is that there will be someone with a sign that is going to take us to our apartment so we can unpack and get setteled and then I have to go straight to the record company for a meeting. "Cool" replied Reese.
Girls I heard my Mom say from a distance, so we put our things into the back of the care and turned towards her with puzzled looks on our faces "What Mom"? I said sounding annoyed, that's one thing I'll be thankful for, not hearing my name called for what felt like every second of every minute of the day sure I'll be hearing my name called to do work for the internship but that's different. My family treats me like I'm their fucking slave, do this, do that. I'm 21 years old for goodness sakes and they treat me like a damn child. I take my Grandma back anfd forth to her appointments, help her run errands and whatever else she might need doing, I haven't really talked about my Grandma, but she moved in with us almost 2 years ago when my Grandpa died. I truly love my family, I do, matter of fact I've been blessed with an amazing family and wouldn't change a thing but I've put my life on hold, my dreams on hold to help my Mom & Uncle out by taking care of my Grandma. They think I resent it but I truly don't. Sure I get frustrated but I'm only human, but it feels like they've left her as my responsibility, but I just can't do it anymore. It's been a hell of a ride the past 4 years.
I graduated from high school, went to Cosmetology School and decided I didn't like it, to be honest I didn't even get the education I paid for, but all along my heart strings kept telling me Music is what you live & breathe, it's what you want to do with your life. Music is the only thing that keeps me literally going most days, so about a month ago that's when I decided to email Island Records and I got the internship which lead to this very moment.
"Do you need anything else from the house before I close and lock the door?" "No" I replied making sure we had everything we needed. Reese, my Mom and I got into the car and she started to drive. I took in a deep breath and sighed, there's not turning back now.
Hope you enjoyed Chapter 4! Please feel free to comment below! :)
