The Historian

2

Closing my trunk, I took a deep breath.

My stomach immediately filled with butterflies and nerves that were going out of control.

"Are you alright Belle?"

Helen stood in my doorway holding laundry in her arms.

I sat on my bed said, " I'm alright thank you, its just- I haven't left my country before... Its all a bit overwhelming..."

Helen sat next to me stroked my hair gently said, " You'll be okay. Your father will be there, he's your protector. Not only that, you are a brave and strong young lady. You've dreamed of becoming a detective and historian all your life, it'll all be very exciting wouldn't it?"

I sat there in silence taking it what she said.

She's right.

This should be exciting?

Fear will become a monster that'll take over my mind if I give in and believe it.

Even though I'll be away for a few months, I have to push through the negative and find the positive using the negative as fuel toward positivity and optimism.

Than maybe...

I should just take a leap of faith.

I flopped over said, " Your right Helena,"

She smiled said, " Its all just based off of my observations,"

I said, " Your a great observer,"

She smiled lyed down next to me.

Staring into eachothers eyes, I noticed a blush slowly forming on her face.

Oh.

Shocking but, Helen and I were a couple many years ago.

But I was confused.

My father found out about the hidden love we shared and forced us apart.

Sending Helen away from me, he fixed her from the horrid thoughts of homosexuality.

Or...

Bisexuality, in my case.

Helen gulped pursing her lips.

Reaching for my hand, I backed away.

She said, " I'm sorry, it's just- I'm still so deeply in love with you,"

I was near my window and started fidgeting with my hands, said, " I'm- I'm sorry Helen. That was years ago... Those feelings I had for you- they're gone now. And I don't think they're coming back, I'm really sorry,"

Her lips made a line she nodded said, " I understand. I expected that's what you'd say,"

I placed a hand on her shoulder said, " I know, but I still care about you. "

She smiled kissed my cheek said, " Alright, well- I should head to the Maids Quaters now, its time for bed,"

She tucked me in, blew out the oil lamp, and closed the door quietly and walked to the Maids Quaters.

Her footsteps were loud but quieted as she got further away.

I sighed rolled over staring at the moonlight shimmering through my curtains and rolled over faced the wall and fell asleep.

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"Belle! Time to wake up! "

My father called stroding into my room already dressed.

I jumped up yelled, " Father! I'm not dressed!"

He said, " Oh- my bad! Just come down when you are ready then,"

I nodded and he went back downstairs demanding everyone in our Victorian Manor each a different duty to fufill.

I sighed watched the sunlight shimmer my marble floor trhough my curtains.

Which I closed.

Facing my wardrobe, I chose an outfit that was casual but still slightly formal and fit for a traveler.

I started with the hoopskirt after pulling on a pair of bloomers, and next with the help from Diane and Lucy with the several full petticoats.

Which I wanted for extra layers and warmth and extra volume.

Next, Diane put a black corset and tied it as tight as possible but I could still breathe.

Then, I wore a black matching buttoned up blouse and tied the black ribbon on my neck in place.

Diane pulled on my socks while Lucie grabbed my black high heeled boots.

While I myself, grabbed a black bonnet with pretty lace.

Facing the mirror Lucie said, " Beautiful as always,"

Diane who held my trunk said, " Yes, you like a historian,"

I smiled said, " Thats the idea,"

I put on a black shawl, and headed downstairs carefully and outside to Father who was outside showering Mother with love and affection.

Mother said, " You take good care of her, you two better be safe on your trip,"

Father said, " We'll be safe Juliette, she'll be well taken care of,"

They shared a long passionate kiss, and Father said, " Oh, your ready Belle! Come say goodbye to your Mother,"

I handed Martin my trunk and gave Mother a long hug.

She said, " I'm going to miss you Belle, you be a good girl okay?"

I hugged her tighter said, " I know Mother, these months will go by in no time! I'll miss you very much Mother, and I'll be a good girl, I promise to send you many letters and pictures,"

She kissed my forehead said, " Good, well, goodbye Belle,"

I gave her a hug one last time and Helen was next to her and gave me a hug too.

She whispered, " I'll miss you Belle,"

I said, " I'll miss you too Helena, I'll be back before you know it, "

She smiled sadly said, " Goodbye Belle,"

I waved said, " Goodbye Mother,"

She said, " Goodbye Belle,"

Father said, " Belle! Lets go!"

I gave Mother a hug said, " I'll write to you!"

And jumped into the carriage with Father and waved to Mother, Helen, Diane, and Lucy until we disappeared around the corner.

The start of a new adventure.

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