Out of One's Mind.

Mistake

I shake myself from my thoughts. Angrily pushing the keys into the key slot. The ignition comes to life. I put the car into reverse. Backing out of the driveway and driving out into the road I drove to Walmart I couldn't resist I needed to be where we always were. I park as close as I could to the tunnel. I just sit there in the parking spot. Watching in hopes of seeing you. I don't know what I wanted to say but I wanted to say something. Let them know how sorry I am, how much I regret hurting them. And just my luck there they were, emerging from the tunnel. Prettier than ever. But they had someone with them. They were both smiling and laughing. I hated it. So much. They were moving on already.

Was I that easy to move on from?
Did they mean what they said?

I've got to get out of here.

I've got to get out of here. I feel tears coming back panicking I put my key back into the ignition I turn it and the car once more roars to life. It sounds so much louder now and it only makes me panic more. I step on it, speed all the way home. Lucky I didn't get stopped by a cop. There were now tears running down my face, I couldn't hold them back any longer. I run to the door fidgeting with the lock for a moment shaking too much to put the key in. Once I do I throw myself inside, slamming the door behind me. I drop to the floor, by my phone that's now slightly cracked. I look at it and pick it up, I shakily scroll through it to find something that would only hurt me more. I look to our texts again.
"Boo-hoo. Fuck you. The only thing good about you is between your legs."
" I wish I never met you"

"Fuck you E. You make me sick."

Then I scroll up
"The last thing I want to do is break up"
"I love you, even though you're fucked up, so am I"

"God I love you"

"Ilysm and I'm lucky as hell to have you"

"You can't do that you said you wouldn't leave me and that'd be leaving x10"

Those were barely a month apart. What happened? What did I do? How did it come to this?