Unfinshed Thoughts

Behind Locked Doors

I truly believe some people are better off without other people.

Why should I need human interaction, if I’m:

Ignored.

Shut-out.

Forgotten.

No matter where it is.

Some people who ‘know’ me think I’m an open book. 

That all of my secrets are spread through thin, worn pages.

Easily accessible to anyone who has the time to look.

But my life is a show.

Oftentimes, I don’t know who I am.

I just zone out and at most, it feels like I’m looking at my life through other people.

I never truly feel like I’m in my body.

Mentally. 

The only time I feel one with myself is when I’m alone.

When I can take time and talk with my thoughts.

When I can just sit in silence and think of things I could not have 

thought of with people around me.

Infiltrating my space. 

So to speak, I live best behind locked doors.

Doors keep my true self hidden, 

Hidden away from any harm that could come to me and shatter my internal self.

I have this life in my head that I want to live out.

But I can’t let anyone in on it because they will twist this perfect life I want

Into something that I most fear.

I will forever keep myself locked behind a door.

And show the world the minor part of me that seeps through the cracks of that very door.