A Defiant Liaison

X

"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." Winston Churchill

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X.

Peter had put his foot in it. Well, perhaps it was not he himself that had put his foot in it, but the conversation at the table had resulted in Belle retreating right back into her shell.

He was quite put out about it. For a brief moment, he had seen her smiles, her eyes ... those beautiful eyes. Her shoulders were not so rigid, and she had relaxed a little, and Peter wanted to believe that he and his terribly awkward behaviour had contributed to that.

Receiving those looks and smiles felt precious to Peter. In a short acquaintance, he had come to understand that those were rarities, and not bestowed on just anyone. In perhaps a rather naïve way, he believed that she might have cared for him a little.

And it was not until he had witnessed Belle's rapid retreat that Peter realised just how attached he was to her. Immediately, Peter felt the disappointment and frustration at being denied something that he had so quickly come to enjoy and take pleasure in.

Peter really did not know what to do. He did not have much experience at all with women. He did not know the right things to say, or how to behave in a way that wasn't embarrassing. Of course, he never intended to embarrass himself on purpose ... it just seemed to happen that way.

"Do you intend to call on Jane Allsopp today, or shall I?"

Peter's thoughts were interrupted by his brother sitting down at the table. Jem was grinning at him as he collected a slice of bread to butter. When Peter did not respond with a teasing remark of his own, Jem's grin faded, and was replaced by a much more sympathetic expression.

"I wasn't really planning on calling on her, you know," he then said in a hopeful tone. "She is all yours."

Peter shook his head. It was his family's conversation surrounding Jane Allsopp that had caused Belle's change.

"I am just joshing, you know," Jem continued. "I didn't mean to offend. She'll be lucky to have you." After he finished buttering his bread, he made quite a mess as he spooned a large helping of the Haitian marmalade that Amélie had made. Alex had brought some fruit back to England with him and planned to cultivate what he could on his land in a greenhouse that he was constructing.

"I don't really know how that is meant to happen," replied Peter. "I really don't know what I am doing, and ..." Peter didn't finish his sentence. He was going to say that he did not know if Belle cared for him at all. Would she smile at him if she did not? No, that was selfish. Peter understood that he was not owed romantic feelings.

Peter also understood that it was foolish to chalk Belle's emotions down to silly gossip surrounding village girls. Belle's mind, and her heart, were not vapid little streams, but deep oceans.

Jem folded his bread in half and nearly inhaled the whole thing in one mouthful. As he chewed, he gave his brother a sympathetic look. "My instinct is to tease you, but I fear that would be hypocritical as I have an equal amount ... or perhaps ever less ... of experience with women. At least you know the object of your affection cares for you. My girl does not even know that I exist."

"How do you figure that?" asked Peter.

Jem helped himself to another slice of bread. "Well, just as it is obvious that you care about Miss Desjardins, she does not have the talent of concealing her own feelings. I saw the way she was smiling at you, Peter. Again, be thankful she knows you exist."

Peter had foolishly gotten his hopes up for a moment, but he felt the disappointment sink in his stomach once more. He loved her smiles, but that didn't mean she cared romantically. She did not have to.